a part of growing up.

a part of growing up.
time flies.
flies faster than the speed of light.
everything just passed as if it had never happened.
as if everything was forgotten.
thinking back of the days when I was just a primary school student, wishing I could be a grown up, living my own dreams.
now I'm here.
well, this is not what I have expected.

this is the time where I get nervous.
thinking about the results that I would be getting in a few months time.
praying that God would grant me my heart's desire.
praying that there would be absolutely no mistake in marking my test papers.

this is the time, friends and family members asks :
"hey, big girl already huh? so where are you going to study? what course would you be taking?"
the amount of questions does not end there.
there are more and those questions seem to haunt you, day and night.
sometimes I get so fed up, I would just simply entertain them and make them satisfied with my answers.
even my dad is pushing me a lot lately.
come on, I have just finished my SPM, give me a break please!
can't you give me some time to enjoy my own life before my college life starts?
time is still on my side.
please.
give me a break.

driving lessons are torturing me.
terribly.
the first computer test was a piece of cake.
now, it's practical.
and oh shit, I suck at it big time.
I drove on the road the other day.
my instructor wasn't happy with me, at all.
he said it's like I have a rain cloud above my head and that I don't know what I am doing.
URGH.
I felt like kicking his ass.
he's sitting next to me, talking on the phone to someone about his girlfriend?
HEY, HELLO?! I AM DRIVING! ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH ME OR NOT?!
and then he would text and text and text.
my goodness gracious.
then he kept on pointing out my mistakes and I was getting to sick of myself.
he kept on stepping on the emergency brake when I was about to brake and yell at me and asked why didn't I brake!
OH MY GOODNESS.
for your information, I WAS ABOUT TO !
I have driving lessons again tomorrow.
*fingers crossed.*

Christmas has just passed.
I am so proud of my own performance and the day ended well.
I did make some mistakes.
and I felt really bad.
anyway, the good news is, pastor is asking me to sing with his wife a song he has written long ago.
he said he might bring me along if they are visiting any other churches to sing the song.
I feel so truly blessed.

I am currently planning on making a music video of my own.
I'm looking for musicians and someone who has a really good camera! :D
I hope it would soon be done :)

since SPM  is over, I found a job.
actually, I was offered the job.
so I have been working for the past month and been doing some silly mistakes.
I am currently teaching primary school children and they are really indescribable.
I didn't know they could be such a tough job to handle.
but I have been enjoying myself teaching them and hopefully they enjoy my company.
*patiently waiting for my salary*

a new life.
a new journey.
new friends.
some became very close.
one became the person that I love deeply.
it's funny how I've seen him so many times, thinking to myself that maybe one day I would get to know him.
maybe one day maybe he could be mine.
wish fulfilled.
it has been 16 days.
these 16 days are deeply precious to me.
because there was never a day he did not make me smile.
i love the way his smell still lingers on me even after a long time.
i love the way he holds my hand so tight as if he would not let me go.
is he the right one?
who knows?
only God does.
if i did not make this move, i would never know whether this is the right path I'm suppose to take.
try and error.
learnt a lot from mistakes made in the past.
time to cherish moments like this and not wasting any more time. :)

two more days to a new year.
a new start.
wishing everyone a blessed new year and may your wishes come true.

sincerely and lots of love,
ANN.

insanity.

Insanity.
Rough week. Rough week.
Nothing seems to be better.
All you hear is sighs and never ending sighs.
Do you know why i don't want to study here?
it's because i don't want to see your damn face anymore.
I might as well leave.
Leave. Leave. Leave.

the end of teenage dreams.

the end of teenage dreams.
this will be the last month i get to wear my uniform, white socks, white shoes, tie and badge.
tomorrow will be the last day i serve the school as a class monitor.
tomorrow is the last day to have fun.
time pass so fast.
it has been 5 years that i have dreamt to be here and now it comes to an end.
now, all that is left is THE EXAM.
have to work my ass off now.
i feel so old now.
i don't even feel like a teenager anymore.
it's almost time to step out into the real world.
scaryyyyyyyyyyyy.
will keep you updated :)
remember to stay healthy and be safe !

love,
missawesome.

put all the blame on me.

put all the blame on me.
that's all what you adults know how to do.
you want to separate then just do it.
don't tell me some bullshit saying that you all are not going to separate yet because of me and my stupid exams.
i don't give a shit to my exams thanks to you people.
do you think my exams makes more sense now?
no it doesn't!
it makes it worst!
and now i would gladly put the blame back to you.
have you seen how my results are lately?
you know it deep down that i have been worst since last year.
you know this is a fact.
have you ever thought the reason why?
no i guess not.
it is obviously because of you people.
i did not choose to come into this world, did i ?
no i didn't.
after so many times thinking that i should kill myself and end all these shit, in the end i thought to myself that i have two sisters who are counting on me later in life because basically, and obviously, both of you are of no use.
and everyday i think to myself, whether i could live happily, in a perfect family where flaws are accepted and not rejected.
i don't feel like staying here any more.
there ain't no reason why i am here.
do you know how painful it was to watch one drive away in front of a 5 year old kid when that kid did not even know what the heck was happening?
it was to the extreme only i could understand.
to hear them laugh after what had happened hurt me the most.
innocent laughs.
they just simply didn't understand.
but i did.
and it breaks my heart.
being here just breaks my heart.
you don't know how much i wish for it to mend.
you will never ever know.
because both of you are selfish people.
you never think before you do and the consequences that come chasing after your children and not you.
i wish someone would just dump me in an alley, with lots of cash, so that i could live on my own.
sometimes, i just wish that i was never chosen to be born because i simply mean nothing to you.
nothing.

i did not choose this. 

neither do you know how painful it is. 

you said you do but you never ever will. 

wish everything could be undone.

excuse me ?!

excuse me?!
what have i done to make you say those things?
you think i am being a pain in the ass?
well, look in the mirror mister.
are you that great ?
the fact is we are all awesome because we are all created in God's image.
but sadly, you just destroyed everything.
you call yourself a son of God and go around cursing everyone you can?
does that bring any good to you ?
let me bring you back early this year.
can you please think of what you have done to me ?
you have broken my heart into so many pieces i could barely even count.
you called me your 'girlfriend' then flirt with other girls?
wow.
ain't that fantastic?
and now you're calling me a b****?
oh wait oh wait.
shouldn't i be calling you that ?
you think that i don't have facebook so i wouldn't see that ?
well, you are TERRIBLY WRONG.
WRONG!
i hate you even more now.
i can't even stand taking one look at you.
you make me puke.
and yes, i shouldn't be saying all this, but i gladly think you deserved it.
i did not even do anything wrong!
and just because of that small lil thing you say that ?
i wonder why are you so famous.
you are pathetically useless.
want me to spell it for you ?
U-S-E-L-E-S-S.
not just that, you are worthless.
you lie so much i wonder who is going to stand by you in the end.
the worst thing is, i can't believe i fell for you.
and somehow, you just turned the story upside down and telling everyone lies about me and you.
why?
why could you ever do that?
I'm sorry but you are a terrible human being.
TERRIBLE.
you simply portray such a bad personality.
i seriously feel like smacking you into pieces.
i really do.
instead, I'll let God handle you.

you worthless useless creature.  

i have had enough.

i have had enough.
i cannot take this anymore.
i don't understand why both of you want to make my life this miserable.
it is even worst when i am the only one who knows what is happening.
no one else does.
don't you know it is so hard for me to go through this ?
you all somehow just don't bother do you ?
you all should have get it over and done with years ago but you have to drag it till now.
NOW.
why?
isn't life already hard enough ?
why do you have to make it harder?
all these things are piling up one by one after each day.
all you wanna do is do things by yourself and bla bla bla.
you have got us committed to this church and now you want us to leave ?
no. enough is enough.
i am leaving.

have you ever seen a bird fly ?

have you ever seen a bird fly ?
it looks so easy for them.
just flap their wings and there they go.
they can go where ever they want, do whatever they want.
so much of freedom.
sometimes i envy them.
knowing that they have so much of freedom.
they are so free.
why can't we be like that ?
as free as them ?
instead, we have to study like mad people trying to understand things we don't want to understand.
we have to work to earn money.
we have to go through all the obstacles in life.
obstacles we did not choose.
so many things to take into consideration in so many things.
why can't we have the freedom which birds have ?

i am very annoyed.
annoyed with every single thing.
i have a never ending headache and i don't seem to know what is the cause.
it won't stop!
i can't read any of my novels because it would just make it worst.
then there is graduation.
oh my goodness.
i cannot take this anymore!
i am always stuck in the middle.
no choice but to follow orders and instructions given.
i am so fed up.
partly the reason why i don't want to go for it.
i don't find it to have any benefit.
i see more of the disadvantages compared to the advantages.
i think i have made the right choice. :)

in life, you will meet a lot of people on the way.
along the way, some of those people can really get on your nerves.
really.
seriously.
it's completely ridiculous!
yes, you want it, basically, you want everything to be right for yourself.
everything is just yourself, yourself and yourself.
different people have different ways of seeing things.
so what makes you think that being right all the time is correct?
have you ever thought about other people?
obviously, you don't, do you ?
you have to, i repeat, YOU HAVE TO win every single argument.
what's the point?
do you get a trophy?
do you get money ?
NO !
you do not.
sadly.
so then why act like that ?
why make everyone hate you ?
i cannot take this anymore.
facing this every single day.
i am so fed up and that's why i just don't want to talk to you.
don't you realise you are such a pain in the butt ?
well, i guess you don't.
that's why you are like that.
that's why you want everything to be done in your way.
good luck in handling life, you self-centred person.

i cannot act as if nothing has happened.
i could not believe it myself.
i guess i have expected too much in return.
but i had never thought of it as something that was very hard to do.
i wonder whether you really value this.
i wonder whether you really bother about it.
if you don't, all these years would have been put to waste.
i really can't believe what you have done.
i am so disappointed in you.
very, very disappointed.

been getting back marks for trials.
some are better than i have expected, some are well, just down the drains.
the consequences when i don't study.
so now, all i can do is blame myself.
i only have a month left till the real exam.
until now, i don't see the point of sitting for this exam.
yes, it can help me to get into colleges and bla bla bla.
sadly, i don't want to sit for this exam.
it freaks me out.
time is running out.
and i am still stuck in my world, my time.

girls.
guys.
a relationship.
i believe that being a girl, you must have pride.
you must not let a guy have it all.
i have learnt from past mistakes.
knowing that i cannot force what cannot be forced.
love.
love cannot be forced.
it is something you are willing to do.
like willing to love someone with all your heart.
so what if you know that either one of you have lost interest?
i believe that that person should make a move and just end the relationship.
what for you let something go on and on when there is no love in it ?
sometimes, people like you should learn to let go and just live your life.
don't you know how worried your parents are?
guess you don't.
i may not be very close with you, but i can tell you that you have mixed with the wrong company.
it's not too late to come out of it.
hey , let it go.
be someone new :)

i am currently reading the second book of The Hunger Games, Catching Fire.
it is so nice!
i can't wait till this headache goes away so that i can finish it and start on the third!
can't wait can't wait !\

some things may come and go. 

but in all circumstances, please, don't give up :)

that's all for now. 

so far everyday is really not my day. 

anyway, thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you ! 

lots of love, 

miss awesome. 

i am back.

i am back.
it feels good !
well, everything feels good.

trials are over now.
what a tremendous relieve !
after it finished, i have been eating lots of chocolates, ice cream and all the junk in the world!
my freedom has finally returned.
owing to the fact that i have my freedom back, i have read two novels in two days.
and it feels great !
i have my new favourite book now, Song of  the Sparrow.

my new favourite :)

and just by looking at the cover, it took my breath away. 

the storyline was awesome and i loved how it has been written. 

one word, WOW. 

i suggest you to buy this book ! 

haha. 

next, The Hunger Games. 

surprisingly, the pump it up is back in town ! 

it has been fully upgraded i guess. 

i am so addicted to it though i don't play like a professional. 

those guys, freak me out. 

they are so good in it! 

i wonder when i could play like that. 

currently trying to master a song called Deja Vu. 

time to step it up ! 

i am currently filled with boredom. 

i can't find a single thing to do except to read my novels. 

i guess i have to find something else to do ! 

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you. 

will update more soon, i hope. 

stay healthy ! :D 

loves, 

missawesome. 

shocking news.

shocking news.
well, what kind of news do you think this is ?
it is the worst kind.
i found out that i was selected for national service.
my heart fell.
yes, it literally did.
i was so anxious and comforting myself before the result was out.
but sadly i was picked.
reality did not slap me in the face so i decided to retype my identification card number again and again.
the same thing kept on appearing.
gosh. i could not believe it.
i thought i was dreaming !
i told most of my family members.
sort of actually.
my aunt told me it would be a great experience and it is maybe God's will for me to go there.
but hey, i need to be away for 3 months and i can do so much in three months !
i could have earned some money or do something else that i really love !
i would definitely be homesick.
terribly.
i guess i have to accept the fact and move on.
if it is really Go's will, i am waiting to see what are His plans for me.
i bet it would be spectacular!

school.
it has been boring without miss gorgeous.
it's like something is missing some where.
i know time will pass fast and i will see her soon :)
hope that she will enjoy her time there.
besides that, i have been laughing a lot in class.
it's as if we don't have an important exam coming up and we're laughing like mad.
is this a part of the journey or is this my laziness ?
i have not even started studying and as usual no one will believe me.
how sad can that be.
haha.
been eating a lot also lately.
i can't control myself.
i enjoy eating too much.
putting on weight is my fault and i so called wanna "lose weight".
goodness.

sometimes i wonder whether i met you by accident or is it fate ?
why is nothing happening ?
everything is so dull now.
it's like we're strangers again.
something which i wished it didn't happen.
but i can't blame you.
you're working and I'm studying.
maybe it's not meant to be.
i really wish we could work it out though.
sometimes i wonder if you stare at my pictures as much as i do ?
or if you think of me as often as i do ?
or even wish to text me as much as i do ?
I'm really scared to bother you.
and most importantly,
i miss you.
i really do.
don't ask me why.
even i don't know the reason.

just take my hand and fall in love with me again. 

waiting for miracles to happen. 

i am still waiting. 

that's all for now guess.
been very lazy to update stuff.
so yeah, thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !

lots of love, 
miss awesome. 

hello there stranger :)

hello there stranger :)
you are a dream come true.

exams are coming !
what's new about that?
obviously i have not done anything yet.
I'm busy playing games on my phone.
and i have been day dreaming a lot, i really do mean a lot.
been imagining stuff that has 99% of not happening.
i guess i read too much of romance novels.
they drive my imaginations wild.

school has been a place of madness nowadays.
everyone is going extra nuts and it is as if we have a party every single day.
we're all laughing and gossiping non-stop.
I'm glad to have friends like that though.
they make life more interesting :)
i have also been eating a lot.
i feel so fat now.
sounds so depressing.
haha.

went for a reunion dinner last Saturday.
it was the best dinner i have ever ever been to.
it was so fun!
my friends and i were crazy as usual, the ex-students of our school thought that were insane.
well, that ain't anything new.
i hope i can upload the pictures soon :)
that Saturday was filled with laughter and joy.
and plus, EVERYONE LOOKED SUPERB !
so then i lead worship on the next day and everyone said that i have improved!
wow, love to hear that more often! :D
and i believed that God really pull me through all those stuff that i had went through on that day.
it was so awesome to feel His presence there with me.
He whispered the words "my child, i will always be with you."
i was so touched i cried.
the best sentence ever in the entire world.
i need nothing more than that.
it was perfect.

so yeah. that's about it for now.
thank you for dropping by and God bless all of you ! :)
stay healthy everyone ! :D

will you help me find true love ? 

will you help me to start believing in fairy tales again ? 

love,
miss awesome. 

i'm sorry, i can't take it anymore.

I'm sorry, i can't take it anymore.
you always corrected us when we were wrong, sometimes even when we were right.
i don't mind you correcting me when i am wrong, i am not perfect.
but when i am right, i can't even get my points straight because you are being one way street minded.
it's so annoying.
i have my rights to tell you what i did was right.
don't i ?
try looking at yourself at the mirror.
look at yourself before you judge someone else.
i am so disappointed in you till i have no words to say.
i just can't wait to get out from this place and just let go of everything.
this is really getting too much and it's starting to pile up.
one day, i am going to explode.
so i suggest you , better watch out.

got top 10 in class!
i have improved :)
but it wasn't enough.
so sad.
i guess i expected too much.

a day of relieve.
it doesn't belong to me anymore.
at last.
it's not my responsibility anymore.
superb glad.
thank you for everything you have done, thank you for those times when you stood for me.
thank you for proving to me that love does not exist.
thank you for giving me in the slap on the face to not fall to hard next time.

sports day is tomorrow.
i have no voice, i am coughing and i have flu.
oh goodness me.
i don't know how am i gonna go through it tomorrow.
i just pray that God will heal and guide me through tomorrow.
all the best to all the marching contingents!

thank you for dropping by and God bless all of you!
remember to drink lots of water and stay healthy unlike me !
and please do continue praying for the haze and the weather. :)

love, 
miss awesome.

lost in my own world.

lost in my own world.
where am i ?
i feel so lost.
sometimes, i just wish to sit at the corner of the room and cry and cry and cry.
for no reason.
i feel as if my own world is crashing down on me.

got my results back for my mid term exam.
well, as usual, it ain't satisfying.
time to put in lots of effort and time into my studies!
i did improve on some particular subjects though.
glad i passed all my exams so far.
and surprisingly, i passed my history exams!
that is so weird.
i presumed that i would fail that test.

i am now, sitting here staring into space.
well, kinda?
thinking about what i have done.
was it meant to be or was it a lesson ?
i am wondering whether i have made the right decision about things.
sometimes i just feel like whacking myself.
i knew there was something wrong somewhere.
but unfortunately, i have left it just the way it was.
dead.
it's my fault.
for falling for you.
for thinking that love was real.
for wishing that i could have you all to myself.
everything didn't turn out the way it was suppose to be.
sad to say.

went out with a close friend of mine during the holidays, here are some photos :)

had lots of fun shooting aliens and heart to heart talk :)
a truly amazing friend.

back when you were mine, 

everything turned out as it seems, 

a dream come true, 

in the end, it  proved nothing but heartache and sorrows.

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
remember to stay healthy and eat well :)


love, 
miss awesome. 

life beyond what you can imagine.

life beyond what you can imagine.
sometimes, you dream too much.
sometimes, you wish too much.
sometimes, you dream and wish too much.
that's what i did.
making wishes hoping they would come true just like in movies.
sadly, they are all worthless.
i wasted a lot of my time doing things i shouldn't be doing.
in the end, i am the one who regret.
it brought me nothing but misery.

holidays are soon to be over now.
how sad.
i wish we had a month of holidays and no homework at all.
too bad i have got to finish the rest of my homework including my add math project.
how sickening.
i have been a very very lazy person.
my uncle gave me a laptop !
and it is a mini one.
it's so cool !
it is kinda outdated but i am happy to have it!
i wished to have one of these for quite some time now. :D

i am worship leading again this sunday.
i pray that everything will just go on smoothly.
and i am finally getting baptised !
feel so excited !
i finally get to do it !

so yeah, that's about it for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
hope you all enjoy your holidays :)

finally, i have gotten over you. 

you didn't deserve anything  at all.

love, 

miss awesome.

like dandelion dust.

like dandelion dust.
everything just disappears.
gone within your reach.
never gonna get it back.

i am really lazy to update so these are the conclusions i have made for the past one month.
happiness.
joy.
sadness.
disappointment.
love.
heartbroken.
fear.
anxiety.
crazy.
madness.
insanity.
sick.
lost.
fall.
regret.
boredom.

like dandelion dust, you were just blown away by the wind and never to be found. 

where are you now?

do you still remember me ? 

do you still think of me ?

nothing was ever worth it. 

you were there and the next thing i know, you were gone. 

what happened? 

was it suppose to happen? 

i feel like such a failure of not letting go. 

why is it so hard? 

why can't you just leave my life and leave me alone? 

that's all for now.
been very busy for the past one month.
will update more often during the holidays. :)
remember to pray for the weather !


love,
missawesome.

misery.

misery.
a day i wake up is a day closer to SPM.
gosh, just thinking about it makes me go nuts!
why do we have to sit for it anyways ?!
i hate this.
and now mid year exams are coming and i haven't even started studying yet.
nothing new.
time to start doing something that i would be proud of.

i thought things was getting better but everything is turning upside down again.
what is the point of the word 'sorry' or 'love' when both parties don't even understand the true meaning of it ?
yes , i know that we're all human and we make mistakes.
but this has gone too far.
you told me that you held on to it for so long cause of that little love you still have for each other.
but looking at it , does it make a difference ?
does that tiny bit of love make a difference ?
i don't see any difference.
i don't understand why don't you just end this and stop going through all these shit that you have to go through ?
isn't 18 years enough already ?


April 11th.
miss gorgeous' birthday !
weehoooooooo.
had a tiny surprise for her.
glad she enjoyed every single moment.
i am lazy to update about it.
waiting for the pictures to be uploaded.
:)


sick of this.
sick of life.
in the end, i ain't giving up.

<3,
miss awesome.

unexpected feelings.

unexpected feelings.

today is Easter !
i had lots of fun with my dear juniors organizing the Easter event in my school.
it was a success !
though the number wasn't very big, we all know that He was there watching over us.
we went to parade after that to party !
i felt so comfortable with them , we're like a big family.
i feel the love between us and it feels awesome. :)


you are such a bastard.
if you knew you couldn't love me then why be with me in the first place?
you only thought you could let it go but in the end you still couldn't.
right ?
we have dragged it for 3 months !
i don't know why you couldn't tell me the truth.
i gave you so many chances !
thank goodness, i am over you.
so over you.
and it seems now you're trying to chase someone else ?
i wish your future girlfriend good luck then.
because being with you is a huge mistake.


i am still waiting.
waiting for your answer :)


thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
Happy Easter Day everyone ! :D


<3,
miss awesome. 

again and again and again.

again and again and again.
it always happens.
just when i thought things will be fine,when things will be alright, everything just come crashes down.
i believe you came into my life for a reason and left for a reason.
now , i just have to move on, slowly.
i think what i did was right.
I've known this except i wasn't admitting it to myself, i was living in denial.
the word "sorry" does not make me feel any happier instead it makes me feel stupider.
for holding on for such a long period of time.
convincing myself that you still love me.
i have given you so many chances to tell me the truth , yet, you didn't tell me the truth.
you should have told me earlier.
i don't regret, neither am i in depression.
i guess i am handling this quite well.
better than all previous relationships.
i know God is with me through everything i do.
i know He is there.


yesterday and today was one of the most amazing moments i have in church.
after such a long time, i felt His presence again.
it was such a wonderful feeling.
i cried today and i didn't even know why.
i felt Him stood beside me saying, my dear child, I am here.
i broke down after i heard that.
i have been straying away from Him.
and yet He stood by me.
after all of the sins i have committed, He was still there for me.
and this was like an awakening call, to go back to Him.
i am truly blessed, to have so many people around me who cares.
through trials and tribulations, they were always there for me.
they're like God-sent-angels.
how wonderful.
i thank God for placing them in my life.
they mean so much to me.
i also wanna thank Pastor Victor King for that amazing message he shared with us today.
i needed it.


thank you everyone for dropping by and God bless all of you :)

<3,
miss awesome.

jealousy.

jealousy.
why does this feeling exist ?
i really want to know.

i don't care about how your body is more hotter or sexier than mine.
i really don't care.
so what if it is ?
i don't want some guy to like me cause of the shape or the curves of my body.
i want him to love me for who i am.
if you wanna say all these things , don't tell it to another friend of mine.
tell it to me, face to face, eye to eye.
because if you really want him then take him.
i don't wanna be someone standing in the way of two people that are in love or whatsoever.
just tell me.
i hate people talking about me behind my back.
if not then just shut up and keep it to yourself you slut.
stop being jealous cause I'm with your ex and bla bla bla.
you were the one who didn't want him.
you were the one who could not accept him the way he is.
so get lost.
thank you very much.

having a singing competition tomorrow.
i just pray we get through the semi-finals !
pray for us ! :D

if you don't love me anymore, just tell me. 

i don't wanna continue this if there was never love in our relationship. 

i don't know whether it's true, but if it is, it's time to end it. 

thank you for dropping by and God bless all of you. :)


<3,
miss awesome. 

i hate it.

i hate it.
i hate the way so many girls surround you.
i hate the way things has changed.
i hate everything.
i admit, i am jealous.

been getting back results for the past two days.
not really happy with it but i can't do anything with it.
so far i have not fail anything yet.
i really thank God as He was always with me and gave me good results though i didn't really study.
i had a singing competition today and i passed !
i did a duet with my friend.
glad we passed.
i hope we nail it in the semi finals !

so i think that's about it.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you ! :)

<3,
miss awesome.

i think too much.

i think too much.
i waste a lot of time thinking of stuff that i should not be thinking of.
in the end, i end up being tensed up.
thinking about it and wondering whether it was true or false.
then i make my own conclusions.
i have no idea whether i am right or wrong.
i hate this kind of feeling.
it kills me.
i hate it so badly.
i really want to know the truth.
do you still love me ?



that's all for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.


<3,
miss awesome.

one of the best day in my life :)

one of the best day in my life :)
i went out with miss gorgeous yesterday.
we planned to do our homework.
well, we managed to do some.
the rest were all laughter and talking rubbish.
i met a few people.
including Darren :)
he helped miss gorgeous with her homework !
how nice of him.
he was really funny :D
he left when we were having our lunch in black canyon.
the food there is not bad.
not bad at all.
we went to the pet shop to see some creepy crawlies :)
miss gorgeous was disgusted.
haha.
we left and went on a mission to get miss gorgeous a wallet.
as usual, she takes a billion years just to choose one.
i was going crazy !
in the end she bought one and i was relieved.
the promoter there thinks we're crazy.
haha, that was very normal though.
then both of us went to our respective tuitions.
i was dying.
wishing i could sleep!
too bad i couldn't and end up making a lot of noise.
more than the usual.
it was one of the best days in my entire life. :D
i truly enjoyed myself. :)


we spoke till it was 2 in the morning.
wish i could talk more with him.
and i guess, we both needed that.
we both needed to hear each others voices again.
everything is better now after that phone call.
can't wait for our third month anniversary.
i pray that he remembers ! :D
it's funny the way people ask me why i like him.
it's just love.
the best feeling on earth :)
i love him more than anything in this world.
i really do.


been practicing for my worship this Sunday.
i pray that everything will go on smoothly.
can't wait ! :D


that's all for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you :)

love can bring you into a whole new world. 

things you have never imagined will come true. 

it became a world of my own where imaginations run wild. 

 

<3,
miss awesome. 

is this good or bad ?

is this good or bad?
am i doing the right thing ?

it's great to know that people trust you and they look for you to help them with their problems.
but sometimes, it is just too much.
i don't know how i can help you anymore.
i tried helping you but you never helped yourself.
so what do you expect me to do ?
i think i am even more stressed than you are.
you are matured enough to think.
to think what's right and what's wrong.
but no.
you are so confused and you can't make up your mind.
this is kinda a normal thing for a teenager though.
i don't blame you.
but really, sometimes, it's just too much.


things changed.
you've changed.
I've changed.
everything has changed.
just hope and pray that everything will just be like old times again.
i wonder are you thinking the same way as i am.


holidays are so far so good i guess.
nothing fantastic happened yet :D
waiting for miracles to happen :)

I'm worship leading this week !
hopefully everything will go on smoothly.
lack of practice.

that's all for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !

miracles can happen if you just believe. :)

have faith. 

<3,
miss awesome.

tell me you still do.

tell me you still do.
tell me you still love me.
because somehow, i have lost that faith.
so much has changed and i don't want it to be this way.
i really don't.

so yeah.
exams are over and yet i don't feel that joy in me.
i am just relieved.
i did badly in everything.
well, this is what i get for not studying and decided to laze around when everyone else is studying.
no regrets though.
already happened.
done with it.

i have been doing lots of silly stuff with miss gorgeous. :)
haha.
what else could we be doing mann ?
that's what best friends do :)
you're the best thing that has ever happened to me.
love you lots. 

that's about it.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.

you've changed. 

I've changed. 

what happened? 

tell me. 

<3,
miss awesome.

thank you.

thank you.
for all that you have done for me.
you have always stood there beside me no matter what i am going through.
you mean a lot to me.
and i cannot replace you with anyone else in the entire world.

when i grow older, i will remember all these times that I've went through.
yes, i am sad.
but i think to myself, "hey, what's the point if i keep on thinking about it ?".
it has already happened and still is.
i don't know what to do.
i promise you i won't be sad.
and you know i will regret doing it.
you know i will.
what am i suppose to do ?
am i suppose to turn left or turn right ?
i can't let go of this relationship after what i have been through.
you know i can't do it.
i just can't.
i can't destroy some one's relationship just like that.
i can't afford to risk mine too.
I'll slowly let it go.
i promise.
hopefully i know what i am doing. :)


school.
you want us to sit according to alphabetical order.
why?
does it benefit you in any way ?
does it ?
we have to line up and even sit in classes according to the alphabetical order.
i don't know who came up with such a stupid rule.
it's so annoying.
i have not started studying for my monthly exam yet.
i don't want to give a damn anymore.
so sick of all this nonsense.
am going for a seminar this Sunday.
looks like fun !
i can't wait. :)

so many things have changed.
while i was waiting for my mum to pick me up after school, there were a bunch of juniors standing nearby.
one of them was so rude and vulgar.
she cursed every single thing she sees.
is she even a human or an animal ?
i have never seen people talk like that before.
that is just plain rude and no self respect.
she even spilled her coke everywhere cause her friend threatened her.
guess that was a bad idea.
i am not saying that i am not vulgar.
i am.
but rarely.
i don't just simply curse the tree and laugh.
that is just mean and crazy.
i do say bad words when i am angry and annoyed.
trying to stop this bad habit though.
 

tell me if you ain't happy. 

tell me the truth. 

i don't want to live a life full of your lies. 

so that's about it. 

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you :)

<3, 

miss awesome.

hold tight.

hold tight.
don't let go.
for things happen for a reason :)

life of a teenager is more than a roller coaster.
in secondary school, all you do is watch friendships go down the drain and all of sudden everything becomes alright.
everything is filled with drama, filled with lies.
so much of tear shed for things that are not even worth it.
this is the time when you find friends who are loyal to you.
this is the time when you find friends who backstab you behind your back.
to me, this is the time you find your weaknesses and change to be a better person.

this is the place where you meet all sorts of people who have different characters, different personalities.
when i leave secondary school, i bet i will meet more people who are worst than this.
that is life.


oh my goodness, miss gorgeous have been superb crazy these few days.
she knocked her head on the table during our biology lesson.
she is crazy.
actually, i cannot take it too.
i don't understand what she teaches us, all she does is just talk nonsense.
and she speaks in malay all the time.
don't teacher's know we're answering our exam in english ?!
this is so annoying.
she pronounces everything wrong and miss gorgeous laughes whenever she says those words.
she cannot even pronounce parenchyma properly.
i think i am gonna faint.
i just hope we get back our old teacher as the time table is going to be reshuffled again.
*crosses fingers*
my class teacher has been missing most of the time.
it is so hard to look for him !
he's always somewhere else when i want to look for him.
i don't know whether he is suffering from any illnesses , but i hope not.
he has lost a lot of weight and i am kinda worried for him.
i just pray that he will be in school more often !

times have changed.
changed to a world filled with condemnation, anger, hatred, bitterness.
what happened to the world who once God created was filled with peace, love , patience ?


i wonder why you made that decision.
is it because you want to break her heart unintenionally ?
do you know how much she still cares for you ?
i bet you don't know.
the only words that you only know are "you didn't love me at all."
where was she when you needed her ?
she was there right beside you.
but in the end, all you told her was "you didn't love me at all. "?
seriously ?
she always helped you but you have never realised, never cared.
where were you when she needed you ?
were you there?
no you were not.
not a single time.
this is why she chose to keep everything to herself and not letting go.
do you know how sad this is ?
to watch with your own eyes and hear with your own ears ?
i bet you don't know how much pain she is going through.
you will never understand.
no one will ever understand the heart of a woman.






please tell me you didn't forget.

waiting for you to say those words again :)

you're the reason that i am not afraid to fly <3

that's about it.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !


<3,
miss awesome.

insecure.

insecure.
i feel so insecure.
it doesn't feel right.
and i don't know why.
am i just thinking too much ?
i think i am.


school was fantastic :)
miss gorgeous laughed so much today.
she was crazy !
it's like a daily routine already.
to laugh like idiots.

went to buy my sport shoes today.
sadly, there is no SIZE.
it was either too big or too small.
i was so angry !
the one i fell in love with was no where to be found.
i was so upset.
so so so upset.
it's time to go shopping again ! :D

so that's about it.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you :)

i have finally learnt to accept things and continue smiling no matter what. :)

<3,
miss awesome.

enough of this shit.

enough of this shit.
in the morning, i was extremely excited to go to church.
then everything turn out to be so bad.
i wished i could run away to somewhere else.
i don't wanna hear anymore screams.
i had enough.

i can't wait till all of this is over and i could leave this place.
leave and never come back.
the pain and sadness cannot be described.
everything that's happening makes me feel like there is no hope anymore.
no love, no joy, no peace, no serenity.
this place is supposed to be filled with joy and happiness.
but sadly, it is all the other way around.


she told me, "hey, why do you even bother ?"
i bother cause i care.
and it doesn't even deserve my time or care.
you always think that i will never be angry.
sometimes, i really do.
and i chose to keep it to myself.
is this worth it ?
are you worth it ?

i am so tired of this.
i don't understand and i don't want to either.
can you please just go away ?
i guess you are smart enough to know your limits.
i am not making my own conclusions.
i tried , i really did try to accept what is happening.
but i can't.
i am so sick and tired of this.
just leave me alone please.
i am none of your business.
just stay away.
i would really appreciate it.


thank you for dropping by.

sick of your lies. 

sick of my life. 

<3,
miss awesome. 

time to let go before my volcano explodes.

time to let go before my volcano explodes.
yes, i am going to explode.
i am about to explode.
so if you add salt , pepper or whatsoever , YOU ARE DEAD.
i tell you, YOU ARE DEAD.
so let me update you about what the heck is happening right now.

firstly, you.
bloody idiot.
stop trying to mess my life.
so what if i am not popular ?
why the heck do you care if i am not ? 
i don't care whether you are popular or not.
just keep your ass some where else.
i would really appreciate it.
bitch, GET LOST.
it is not freaking necessary for you to tell the whole world.
just shut up.
keep those stuff to yourself.
go and bother someone else's life.
not mine.
don't play a fool with me.
if you are so fucking lonely then go grab a guy from a street and fuck him okay ?
be happy.
and seriously, FUCK OFF YOU BITCH.

secondly, you.
another idiot.
i don't know what the heck to say about you anymore.
i don't get why is she still holding on unto this shit when she knows this is not going anywhere ?
just let it go !
look at what he does !
he is such a disgrace.
i don't know who ever gave him a compliment before.
everyone hates him.
including me.
you were never a good example, so what do you want me to learn from you ?
you want me to learn the shit that you do ?
be a disgrace to my own family ?
everyone doesn't even respect you.
the work of your hands make other people lose trust in you.
i have lost it many years ago.
you are a person who will never gain respect from anyone.
anyone at all.
you always ask me to look for your stuff and when i don't find it, you blame me.
if you knew this was going to happen, then go look for it yourself.
stop dragging me into your shit and destroying my day.
you are heartless.
you never put love and care to the things that you do.
neither do you love the people around you.
you never did.
the person you only love is yourself.
you are so rich now you don't care about anyone else but yourself.
seriously ?
can't you see that she needs help ?
no , you are blind.
somehow you just can't see things that you need to see.
you are so into you and you only.
nothing else.
i never saw you doing anything that benefits another person.
seriously.
i never did.
so selfish.
i can't take the fact that i am a part of you.
i really can't .
i kept on questioning God, why me ?
i really want to know the reason why i am going through this.

thirdly, you.
i don't know what to say to you.
all i want you to know is that i am greatly disappointed in you.
i don't know why this is happening.
i am going through things that i don't need to go through.
you were never ever there for me.
thanks alot.


exams are coming.
i never touched a single book nor read a single word.
i don't give a damn about the monthly test.
just want to be done with it.
due to the complaints from the mum's of my classmates.
we have another teacher coming in to teach uus modern maths.
i ain't happy.
i really ain't happy.
why want to complain ?
we already know the reason why there are no substitute teachers !
it is cause the government is not going to send anymore teachers to our school !
don't you people understand english or what ?
then there was another day when i came into the class.
it was so messy and pissed me off.
there were some stuff stuck unto the walls of our class.
even below the whiteboard.
why is the afternoon section teacher doing all these nonsense and making our class look like a class in kindergarden.
this is not a funny matter.
the things keep on falling off and we need to pick up all those nonsense.
if it gets on my nerve one day, i am gonna burn them all.
then there are teachers who enters our class and i don't understand a single thing he / she is teaching !
it's like they are talking in alien language !
sometimes in malay, sometimes in english.
in out exams when we answer in both languages, you give us a big cross !
don't you teachers know that that is how you teach us ?
that's the way you teach us, that's the way we answer.

so yeah.
as you can see, i am really on fire.
i can really burst anytime soon.
so leave me alone.
stay out of my way.
stop putting your ass into my world.
get lost.

thanks for dropping by.

<3,
miss awesome.

exhausted!

exhausted !
my school had organized a cross country run which was only 3.7 kilometres.
thank goodness it was so short !
i aimed for top ten this year but sadly i didn't get it.
many students planned to run this year !
so in the end i got number 12 !
did my best :)
then i waited for miss gorgeous to come back to school and we went to eat and stuff like that.
we went to parade after the event, it seems that teachers told us it would end earlier..
YEAH RIGHT !
we were so bored and had nothing to do.
and when we did, we had to go home. =/
so yeah.
such a tiring day.

that's all for now!
will update soon :)
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you ! :D

 baby, i miss you.

<3,
miss awesome.

600 seconds.

600 seconds.
i watched the clock tick tock and just wishing time would pass faster during chemistry class.
i am sorry teacher, i don't understand what you are teaching us !
i miss my old teacher.
she made me love chemistry and now everything has changed and i hate  it so badly now.
school was so terribly boring until.... EVERYONE WAS CRAZY !
we laughed and chase each other around school like nobody's business !
WE WERE INSANE !
and we call ourselves form 5 when we act like we are only 5.
we were all eating and going psycho and my classmates think i am nuts.
cause i usually don't allow them to eat.
but who the heck bothers ?
IT IS FRIDAY !
thank goodness there were no teachers around, we would have gotten demerits.
haha.
we laughed like crazy and i even sat on the floor laughing non stop.
one of the best days in school i will never forget. :)
our school is having a cross country run tomorrow.
aiming for top ten again *cross fingers* .
here i comeeeeeeee :D

that's all for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !

<3,
miss awesome.

more than just words.

more than just words.
words can't show you how much i love you.
words can't express the love i have for you.
you are one in a million, always will remain that way.
i wish i can always be in your arms.
laughing away at random stuff.
being happy like i never used to be.
i have no idea what to write now.
i have never felt so in love before.
thank you for always being there for me.

you are the best chirstmas present i have ever had. <3

<3,
miss awesome.

dear miss gorgeous :)

dear miss gorgeous,
why worry so much ?
don't be !
just go on with it and see what happens :)
you are not destroying your life, don't think of it that way.
you are just writing pages of your life and when you look back, you will smile.
this is a life of a teenager.
I'll always be there for you :)

pinky promise. 

<3,
miss awesome.

i just hope that the smile on my face can mask all the pain.

i just hope that my smile on my face can mask all my pain.
i don't know what to do, i don't know what to say.
it's so sad for me to see her drown in sadness.
all i can do is watch and do nothing.
i don't know how to make her feel better, i don't know what i should do.
i still can't accept the fact that you said you have never loved her.
are you blind ?
she has done so much for you and all you could say is that she never loved you ?
you are a person who doesn't deserve my sympathy.
i don't sympathise you at all.
you deserved what you are going through now.
do me a favour to stop being a pain in my butt.
can't you just appreciate what she has done for you ?
just a simple thank you won't do you any harm.
will it ?
show some appreciation for goodness sake.
you are worthless.

so, let me update you about what had happened today.
i went to parade with miss gorgeous to have our lunch.
we ate in sushi king !
and we while we were waiting to pay our bill, guess who we saw ?
TEACHERS.
the first thing i thought of was, great we're doomed.
all the teachers know both of us and that ain't good.
we gave them a broad smile !
thank goodness we were not accompanied by any guys.
fuhhh.
we continually bumped into a lot of girls from our school.
so we asked them whether they have seen the teachers and so on.
they have met them, and those unlucky ones got scolding from the teachers.
but hey, what is wrong with us going there ?
we were only having lunch and going back to school !
mannn.
it's either they have nothing else to do or decided to spy on the students.
great , just great.
everyone is complaining now.
but i don't give a damn anymore.
it is over and done with.
so then we went back to school and it is time to do some exercise !
i wasn't looking forward to it.
i knew that it was going to be superb hot and I'll be lazy.
and i saw you.
it is already the third time.
i have no idea whether this is good or bad.
i just pray that the feelings won't come back.


valentine's day is just around the corner !
i can't wait :)
i love you lots biee.

so that's about it !
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !

<3,
miss awesome.

a week of madness.

a week of madness.
so much of homework, so much to catch up on.
sickening, really sickening.
i am so lazy to study, lazy to even flip the first page of the book open.
i really regret taking science stream for what i want to be in the future has nothing to do with science.
guess i still have live with it.

i want to be a pastor in the future.
some people don't believe me, some think i am crazy ?
some even said that this kind of job can't earn much.
but hey, i am doing this for God and not for the sake of money.
money ain't everything.
i have made this decision because i am inspired by the people who are so passionate for Him.
i want to be an inspiration to others.
i want to help youths who are lost.
i know this is a hard thing to do but i am ready for it. :)

the weather is so hot !
i cannot take this heat. =/
i hope and pray that the temperature will reduce in time.

holidays are over.
time to go back to school and rot.
i guess it's better than staying at home and facing the computer all the time.

that's all for now.
i will update when i have the time :)
stay tuned !
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you :D

<3,
miss awesome.

i am greatly disappointed in you.

I am greatly disappointed in you.
How many times do you want to do this to me ?
Is this a joking matter to you ?
Are you testing me ?
or are you just trying to make my life more miserable?
Please stop doing this.
i can't take this anymore.
I really can't.

Thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you :)

<3,
Miss awesome.

what is love?

what is love ?
is it just a feeling ?
or is it more than that ?
how long will it take to understand the true meaning of love ?
i don't know.
I'm so confused of what is happening now.
i have no idea what's going on and what's going to happen next.
i hate the fact that things are getting from bad to worst and there is nothing i can do about it.
nothing.
this time, she is ready to let go.
let go the things that happened from 18 years ago till now.
she is ready to move on while i am stuck here, in the middle of no where, alone.
i have made up my mind.
but she won't fulfil what i desire.
it is the only thing i can do.
doing this breaks my heart the most.
i have never felt such pain, such misery in my life.
watching this happen is just breaking my heart.
i am not even speaking to anyone at home.
it's either a smile or a reply of a few words.
i used to think that this was good, the only way out.
it benefits both parties and will make everyone happy.
but why am i feeling this way ?
why am i feeling such pain ?
i don't know.
even i would like to know the answer to my own questions.
i understand her , i know what it feels like.
i know she has been through too much of this and she can't take this anymore.
she just can't.
is this time for me to move on or wait for a miracle to happen ?
i am still waiting for the answer.
i wish things could be better.
i wish for more laughter , more smiles, more joy and peace.
everything is broken now, broken into pieces that can't be mended anymore.



i have finished reading the book, "A Map of The Known World".
it was fantastic !
it's amazing how everything was described, how everything was put together.
the storyline is touching and it taught me to value my life.
and now i have read a quarter of this book called "I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You".
it is kinda nice so far.
i hope it'll be fantastic !

 

school is crazy ! 

my classmates are nuts. 

i have no idea what to do. 

so yeah. 

they've made changes in the time table and I'm happy and satisfied :D 

so that's all for now. 

i have been blogging a lot in my mind now. 

so i won't be updating much. 

but do stay around and wait for my upcoming post ! 

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you ! 

<3, 

miss awesome.

a day to remember.

A day to remember.
It was like a dream.
A dream i never want to wake up from.
I wished time would stop right there and then as we stare into each others eyes.
That feeling couldn't be explain using words.
Every second , every minute and every hour i was with you , you made me fall in love with you again and again.
I wished i could turn back time.
I hope you know that i love you dearly.
Happy one month anniversary my precious. :)
I love you <3

That's all for today.
Thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.

<3,
Miss awesome. I

Chinese New Year !

Chinese New Year !
the weather is always the same every year during this season.
IT IS SO HOT !
burning hot !
received a lot of red packets and there's more coming !
having dinner with my family tonight !
can't wait :D

there's no homework to bother me now!
thank goodness i have finished them already, if not I'll be suffering now.

i am now reading a novel called "A Map of the Known World".
quite interesting !
plan to finish it soon :)

so that's about it, not much to update. :)
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
miss awesome wishes you a prosperous Chinese new year and a great year ahead !

<3,
miss awesome.

idiots!

idiots !
please don't come adding me on facebook and telling me you are horny or whatsoever.
so perverted !
keep you're perverted-ness to yourself !
ewwwwww.
DISGUSTING FOOLS.


i am so angry and pissed off !
school is driving me nuts !
thank goodness there is a week of holiday.
really needed a break and not dealing with those nonsense.
miss gorgeous and i have been going cuckoo nowadays.
i think by the end of the year we'll be in a mental hospital.
HAHA.
kinda busy with extra co curricular activities.
so tired of it.

Chinese new year is here!
time to get lots of red packets!
can't wait , can't wait !

so yeah, that's about it.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR !

I LOVE YOU. 

<3, 

miss awesome.

i can't afford to go through the same things again.

i can't afford to go through the same things again.
after all you have done to me, my heart broke into pieces.
i gave you chances again and again and again, but you never seem to appreciate it.
i guess this was another time that you wanted me back again.
I'm sorry, i can't do that.
you broke my heart the most.
now i have someone to mend it back for me.
and i am glad you know that i belong to someone else now.
i couldn't forget the things you did to me.
never.

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !

I LOVE YOU.

<3,
miss awesome.

in my dreamland and will never want to wake up.

in my dreamland and will never want to wake up.
everything is great so far.
i am in my own world and i don't feel like waking up to face reality.

school.
i have been laughing so much with miss gorgeous.
we laugh at random stuff and we will laugh like it will never stop.
our friends think we are crazy , but i think it is awesome the way we are now. :)
i think without her beside me i would have rot in school and be the most boring person in the entire world.
and yes, it is that bad.
our language lessons are so boring.
all we do is laugh and talk.
i hate it when i have BM.
it's just so annoying.
my moral teacher is so funny !
he doesn't even laugh at his own jokes.
except for one where miss gorgeous finished his sentence.
it was funnier !
he always advice all of us to beware of guys and asks us to be as ugly as possible.
i find him kinda weird at times.
maths and additional maths is a pain in my butt.
it is so easy to understand but when you start doing you'll be confused and frustrated.
URGH.
history is as boring as usual.
all the science subjects are driving me mad.
i keep on wondering whether i could fit all these knowledge into my head.
it seems impossible to me.
looking at the amount of things we have to learn is really a headache.
this year is a year of great responsibility.
i have so much to handle !
this year ain't easy.
plus the major examination that is freaking me out.
i wish there was no such thing.
my teacher said it is a once in a life time thing.
man, are you kidding me ?
i don't want to go through this "once in a lifetime" thing.
so the conclusion is school is great so far.
thanks to the people around me that makes school life awesome !
i think my class is going crazy this year.
so much of laughter, so much of talking!
i can't control them as i was doing the same thing.
sometimes they even laugh for no reason.
so i think my class is really NUTS.
homework are piling up fast.
and i really mean FAST.
better finish everything today !

life.
so far so good.
i am kinda madly in love ?
miss gorgeous said that i have never been this way with any guy before.
i think that is a good thing!
and she approves!
plus they get along :D
glad she did.
everything he does, makes me happy, makes me smile.
i have never felt this way before.
those little things he does melts my heart.
no one has done or treated me this way before.
no one has played the piano and sang to me.
no one has ever called me in the middle of the night saying he misses my voice. 
no one has made me feel this way.
i am glad i have him in my life.
i will never ever regret.
he is the best I've ever had.
i thought i would never find someone like him.
i am so happy !
i am worship leading this Sunday.
i hope everything will turn out fine.
i am scared!
haven't done this for quite some time now.


miss gorgeous,
i just wanna thank you, for always being there when i am happy or sad.
i will never ever find a best friend like you.
you will always be the only one.
i will never forget the things we do or the way we are so crazy sometimes.
i am so glad you are my best friend.
thank you so much.
i love you ! <3


thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !

I LOVE YOU. 

<3,
miss awesome.

i am not happy.

i am not happy.
i hate all these nonsense.
school, tuitions, homeworks.
man, give us a break !
plus there is a major exam coming up and i am freaking out !
i wish there was no such thing.
seriously.

the week of madness is gonna come and swallow me up.
I've got a feeling i will not like this week, at all.
i can't wait to pass down all my work to someone who is gonna take my place.
i don't feel like going through this anymore.
sick of it.

i think i have been thinking too much.
some people need their freedom too.
URGH.
sick sick sick.

that is all for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.

I AIN'T HAPPY. 

<3,
miss awesome.

time to catch up.

time to catch up.
with what ?
studies.
mann.
all the teachers planned to get pregnant at the wrong time.
seriously.
all the good teachers are transferred to other schools.
it is so saddening !
so , the conclusion is , I AM NOT HAPPY !
i am not happy with what the teachers are organizing.
i really don't agree!
give us back our old teachers !
i miss em =/

first day of school.
our modern maths teacher came in and started teaching RIGHT AWAY.
so of course there is homework :D
then our add maths teacher wanted to see our holiday homework.
everyone freaked out and started doing till the next day. :)

second day of school.
the word busy describes the second day of school.
i think i am getting old !
i keep forgetting the things that i have to do.
lucky i have miss gorgeous to remind me :D

third day of school.
FUN !
i have never laughed so much before.
i laughed till i sat on the floor !
i think i was going to cry too.
how i wish everyday was like that. :)
i finished my add maths and there is homework waiting for me.
but as usual , i am lazy.
so i shall do it later !
hehe.


miss gorgeous, thanks for the presents ! I LOVE IT ! <3


you were the only one who did all these things for me.
thank you so much for making me smile.
you're the best I've ever had.
i love you. <3

the dress that miss gorgeous bought. I LOVE IT ! *ignore the bed :D*

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !


<3,
miss awesome.

all in one.

all in one.

2 more days left and it is time to go back to school.
i wish i was just dreaming and there was no school.
holidays are coming to an end.
time to plan all my tuitions.
my homework ?
impossible to get it done.
i don't care though.
we're suppose to have fun during the holidays and not so HOMEWORK.
a lot of teachers from my school are leaving including the principle.
she was the best and now she has to leave.
it ain't good news.
there is so much to do but so little time.
i wasted a lot of my time doing nothing and just staring into space.
i could have studied.
too bad for me, it is too late to regret now.

new year.
i only went to church and went to Jusco with the youth.
we had lots of fun.
tons of laughing.
we only spent 2 hours there.

today, i am sitting here again.
not doing the things i am suppose to do.
i am so lazy.
i don't feel like going back to school though it is nice to see all my friends again.
plus there is a major exam this year and it really bothers me.
it is time to put in lots of effort and be less playful.
i really pray i can do it.

miss gorgeous, i can't wait to see you ! <3

that's about it for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR !

<3,

miss awesome.                        

i love you.