what is love?

what is love ?
is it just a feeling ?
or is it more than that ?
how long will it take to understand the true meaning of love ?
i don't know.
I'm so confused of what is happening now.
i have no idea what's going on and what's going to happen next.
i hate the fact that things are getting from bad to worst and there is nothing i can do about it.
nothing.
this time, she is ready to let go.
let go the things that happened from 18 years ago till now.
she is ready to move on while i am stuck here, in the middle of no where, alone.
i have made up my mind.
but she won't fulfil what i desire.
it is the only thing i can do.
doing this breaks my heart the most.
i have never felt such pain, such misery in my life.
watching this happen is just breaking my heart.
i am not even speaking to anyone at home.
it's either a smile or a reply of a few words.
i used to think that this was good, the only way out.
it benefits both parties and will make everyone happy.
but why am i feeling this way ?
why am i feeling such pain ?
i don't know.
even i would like to know the answer to my own questions.
i understand her , i know what it feels like.
i know she has been through too much of this and she can't take this anymore.
she just can't.
is this time for me to move on or wait for a miracle to happen ?
i am still waiting for the answer.
i wish things could be better.
i wish for more laughter , more smiles, more joy and peace.
everything is broken now, broken into pieces that can't be mended anymore.



i have finished reading the book, "A Map of The Known World".
it was fantastic !
it's amazing how everything was described, how everything was put together.
the storyline is touching and it taught me to value my life.
and now i have read a quarter of this book called "I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You".
it is kinda nice so far.
i hope it'll be fantastic !

 

school is crazy ! 

my classmates are nuts. 

i have no idea what to do. 

so yeah. 

they've made changes in the time table and I'm happy and satisfied :D 

so that's all for now. 

i have been blogging a lot in my mind now. 

so i won't be updating much. 

but do stay around and wait for my upcoming post ! 

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you ! 

<3, 

miss awesome.

a day to remember.

A day to remember.
It was like a dream.
A dream i never want to wake up from.
I wished time would stop right there and then as we stare into each others eyes.
That feeling couldn't be explain using words.
Every second , every minute and every hour i was with you , you made me fall in love with you again and again.
I wished i could turn back time.
I hope you know that i love you dearly.
Happy one month anniversary my precious. :)
I love you <3

That's all for today.
Thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.

<3,
Miss awesome. I

Chinese New Year !

Chinese New Year !
the weather is always the same every year during this season.
IT IS SO HOT !
burning hot !
received a lot of red packets and there's more coming !
having dinner with my family tonight !
can't wait :D

there's no homework to bother me now!
thank goodness i have finished them already, if not I'll be suffering now.

i am now reading a novel called "A Map of the Known World".
quite interesting !
plan to finish it soon :)

so that's about it, not much to update. :)
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
miss awesome wishes you a prosperous Chinese new year and a great year ahead !

<3,
miss awesome.

idiots!

idiots !
please don't come adding me on facebook and telling me you are horny or whatsoever.
so perverted !
keep you're perverted-ness to yourself !
ewwwwww.
DISGUSTING FOOLS.


i am so angry and pissed off !
school is driving me nuts !
thank goodness there is a week of holiday.
really needed a break and not dealing with those nonsense.
miss gorgeous and i have been going cuckoo nowadays.
i think by the end of the year we'll be in a mental hospital.
HAHA.
kinda busy with extra co curricular activities.
so tired of it.

Chinese new year is here!
time to get lots of red packets!
can't wait , can't wait !

so yeah, that's about it.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR !

I LOVE YOU. 

<3, 

miss awesome.

i can't afford to go through the same things again.

i can't afford to go through the same things again.
after all you have done to me, my heart broke into pieces.
i gave you chances again and again and again, but you never seem to appreciate it.
i guess this was another time that you wanted me back again.
I'm sorry, i can't do that.
you broke my heart the most.
now i have someone to mend it back for me.
and i am glad you know that i belong to someone else now.
i couldn't forget the things you did to me.
never.

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !

I LOVE YOU.

<3,
miss awesome.

in my dreamland and will never want to wake up.

in my dreamland and will never want to wake up.
everything is great so far.
i am in my own world and i don't feel like waking up to face reality.

school.
i have been laughing so much with miss gorgeous.
we laugh at random stuff and we will laugh like it will never stop.
our friends think we are crazy , but i think it is awesome the way we are now. :)
i think without her beside me i would have rot in school and be the most boring person in the entire world.
and yes, it is that bad.
our language lessons are so boring.
all we do is laugh and talk.
i hate it when i have BM.
it's just so annoying.
my moral teacher is so funny !
he doesn't even laugh at his own jokes.
except for one where miss gorgeous finished his sentence.
it was funnier !
he always advice all of us to beware of guys and asks us to be as ugly as possible.
i find him kinda weird at times.
maths and additional maths is a pain in my butt.
it is so easy to understand but when you start doing you'll be confused and frustrated.
URGH.
history is as boring as usual.
all the science subjects are driving me mad.
i keep on wondering whether i could fit all these knowledge into my head.
it seems impossible to me.
looking at the amount of things we have to learn is really a headache.
this year is a year of great responsibility.
i have so much to handle !
this year ain't easy.
plus the major examination that is freaking me out.
i wish there was no such thing.
my teacher said it is a once in a life time thing.
man, are you kidding me ?
i don't want to go through this "once in a lifetime" thing.
so the conclusion is school is great so far.
thanks to the people around me that makes school life awesome !
i think my class is going crazy this year.
so much of laughter, so much of talking!
i can't control them as i was doing the same thing.
sometimes they even laugh for no reason.
so i think my class is really NUTS.
homework are piling up fast.
and i really mean FAST.
better finish everything today !

life.
so far so good.
i am kinda madly in love ?
miss gorgeous said that i have never been this way with any guy before.
i think that is a good thing!
and she approves!
plus they get along :D
glad she did.
everything he does, makes me happy, makes me smile.
i have never felt this way before.
those little things he does melts my heart.
no one has done or treated me this way before.
no one has played the piano and sang to me.
no one has ever called me in the middle of the night saying he misses my voice. 
no one has made me feel this way.
i am glad i have him in my life.
i will never ever regret.
he is the best I've ever had.
i thought i would never find someone like him.
i am so happy !
i am worship leading this Sunday.
i hope everything will turn out fine.
i am scared!
haven't done this for quite some time now.


miss gorgeous,
i just wanna thank you, for always being there when i am happy or sad.
i will never ever find a best friend like you.
you will always be the only one.
i will never forget the things we do or the way we are so crazy sometimes.
i am so glad you are my best friend.
thank you so much.
i love you ! <3


thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !

I LOVE YOU. 

<3,
miss awesome.

i am not happy.

i am not happy.
i hate all these nonsense.
school, tuitions, homeworks.
man, give us a break !
plus there is a major exam coming up and i am freaking out !
i wish there was no such thing.
seriously.

the week of madness is gonna come and swallow me up.
I've got a feeling i will not like this week, at all.
i can't wait to pass down all my work to someone who is gonna take my place.
i don't feel like going through this anymore.
sick of it.

i think i have been thinking too much.
some people need their freedom too.
URGH.
sick sick sick.

that is all for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.

I AIN'T HAPPY. 

<3,
miss awesome.

time to catch up.

time to catch up.
with what ?
studies.
mann.
all the teachers planned to get pregnant at the wrong time.
seriously.
all the good teachers are transferred to other schools.
it is so saddening !
so , the conclusion is , I AM NOT HAPPY !
i am not happy with what the teachers are organizing.
i really don't agree!
give us back our old teachers !
i miss em =/

first day of school.
our modern maths teacher came in and started teaching RIGHT AWAY.
so of course there is homework :D
then our add maths teacher wanted to see our holiday homework.
everyone freaked out and started doing till the next day. :)

second day of school.
the word busy describes the second day of school.
i think i am getting old !
i keep forgetting the things that i have to do.
lucky i have miss gorgeous to remind me :D

third day of school.
FUN !
i have never laughed so much before.
i laughed till i sat on the floor !
i think i was going to cry too.
how i wish everyday was like that. :)
i finished my add maths and there is homework waiting for me.
but as usual , i am lazy.
so i shall do it later !
hehe.


miss gorgeous, thanks for the presents ! I LOVE IT ! <3


you were the only one who did all these things for me.
thank you so much for making me smile.
you're the best I've ever had.
i love you. <3

the dress that miss gorgeous bought. I LOVE IT ! *ignore the bed :D*

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !


<3,
miss awesome.

all in one.

all in one.

2 more days left and it is time to go back to school.
i wish i was just dreaming and there was no school.
holidays are coming to an end.
time to plan all my tuitions.
my homework ?
impossible to get it done.
i don't care though.
we're suppose to have fun during the holidays and not so HOMEWORK.
a lot of teachers from my school are leaving including the principle.
she was the best and now she has to leave.
it ain't good news.
there is so much to do but so little time.
i wasted a lot of my time doing nothing and just staring into space.
i could have studied.
too bad for me, it is too late to regret now.

new year.
i only went to church and went to Jusco with the youth.
we had lots of fun.
tons of laughing.
we only spent 2 hours there.

today, i am sitting here again.
not doing the things i am suppose to do.
i am so lazy.
i don't feel like going back to school though it is nice to see all my friends again.
plus there is a major exam this year and it really bothers me.
it is time to put in lots of effort and be less playful.
i really pray i can do it.

miss gorgeous, i can't wait to see you ! <3

that's about it for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR !

<3,

miss awesome.                        

i love you.