misery.

misery.
a day i wake up is a day closer to SPM.
gosh, just thinking about it makes me go nuts!
why do we have to sit for it anyways ?!
i hate this.
and now mid year exams are coming and i haven't even started studying yet.
nothing new.
time to start doing something that i would be proud of.

i thought things was getting better but everything is turning upside down again.
what is the point of the word 'sorry' or 'love' when both parties don't even understand the true meaning of it ?
yes , i know that we're all human and we make mistakes.
but this has gone too far.
you told me that you held on to it for so long cause of that little love you still have for each other.
but looking at it , does it make a difference ?
does that tiny bit of love make a difference ?
i don't see any difference.
i don't understand why don't you just end this and stop going through all these shit that you have to go through ?
isn't 18 years enough already ?


April 11th.
miss gorgeous' birthday !
weehoooooooo.
had a tiny surprise for her.
glad she enjoyed every single moment.
i am lazy to update about it.
waiting for the pictures to be uploaded.
:)


sick of this.
sick of life.
in the end, i ain't giving up.

<3,
miss awesome.

unexpected feelings.

unexpected feelings.

today is Easter !
i had lots of fun with my dear juniors organizing the Easter event in my school.
it was a success !
though the number wasn't very big, we all know that He was there watching over us.
we went to parade after that to party !
i felt so comfortable with them , we're like a big family.
i feel the love between us and it feels awesome. :)


you are such a bastard.
if you knew you couldn't love me then why be with me in the first place?
you only thought you could let it go but in the end you still couldn't.
right ?
we have dragged it for 3 months !
i don't know why you couldn't tell me the truth.
i gave you so many chances !
thank goodness, i am over you.
so over you.
and it seems now you're trying to chase someone else ?
i wish your future girlfriend good luck then.
because being with you is a huge mistake.


i am still waiting.
waiting for your answer :)


thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
Happy Easter Day everyone ! :D


<3,
miss awesome. 

again and again and again.

again and again and again.
it always happens.
just when i thought things will be fine,when things will be alright, everything just come crashes down.
i believe you came into my life for a reason and left for a reason.
now , i just have to move on, slowly.
i think what i did was right.
I've known this except i wasn't admitting it to myself, i was living in denial.
the word "sorry" does not make me feel any happier instead it makes me feel stupider.
for holding on for such a long period of time.
convincing myself that you still love me.
i have given you so many chances to tell me the truth , yet, you didn't tell me the truth.
you should have told me earlier.
i don't regret, neither am i in depression.
i guess i am handling this quite well.
better than all previous relationships.
i know God is with me through everything i do.
i know He is there.


yesterday and today was one of the most amazing moments i have in church.
after such a long time, i felt His presence again.
it was such a wonderful feeling.
i cried today and i didn't even know why.
i felt Him stood beside me saying, my dear child, I am here.
i broke down after i heard that.
i have been straying away from Him.
and yet He stood by me.
after all of the sins i have committed, He was still there for me.
and this was like an awakening call, to go back to Him.
i am truly blessed, to have so many people around me who cares.
through trials and tribulations, they were always there for me.
they're like God-sent-angels.
how wonderful.
i thank God for placing them in my life.
they mean so much to me.
i also wanna thank Pastor Victor King for that amazing message he shared with us today.
i needed it.


thank you everyone for dropping by and God bless all of you :)

<3,
miss awesome.