a part of growing up.

a part of growing up.
time flies.
flies faster than the speed of light.
everything just passed as if it had never happened.
as if everything was forgotten.
thinking back of the days when I was just a primary school student, wishing I could be a grown up, living my own dreams.
now I'm here.
well, this is not what I have expected.

this is the time where I get nervous.
thinking about the results that I would be getting in a few months time.
praying that God would grant me my heart's desire.
praying that there would be absolutely no mistake in marking my test papers.

this is the time, friends and family members asks :
"hey, big girl already huh? so where are you going to study? what course would you be taking?"
the amount of questions does not end there.
there are more and those questions seem to haunt you, day and night.
sometimes I get so fed up, I would just simply entertain them and make them satisfied with my answers.
even my dad is pushing me a lot lately.
come on, I have just finished my SPM, give me a break please!
can't you give me some time to enjoy my own life before my college life starts?
time is still on my side.
please.
give me a break.

driving lessons are torturing me.
terribly.
the first computer test was a piece of cake.
now, it's practical.
and oh shit, I suck at it big time.
I drove on the road the other day.
my instructor wasn't happy with me, at all.
he said it's like I have a rain cloud above my head and that I don't know what I am doing.
URGH.
I felt like kicking his ass.
he's sitting next to me, talking on the phone to someone about his girlfriend?
HEY, HELLO?! I AM DRIVING! ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH ME OR NOT?!
and then he would text and text and text.
my goodness gracious.
then he kept on pointing out my mistakes and I was getting to sick of myself.
he kept on stepping on the emergency brake when I was about to brake and yell at me and asked why didn't I brake!
OH MY GOODNESS.
for your information, I WAS ABOUT TO !
I have driving lessons again tomorrow.
*fingers crossed.*

Christmas has just passed.
I am so proud of my own performance and the day ended well.
I did make some mistakes.
and I felt really bad.
anyway, the good news is, pastor is asking me to sing with his wife a song he has written long ago.
he said he might bring me along if they are visiting any other churches to sing the song.
I feel so truly blessed.

I am currently planning on making a music video of my own.
I'm looking for musicians and someone who has a really good camera! :D
I hope it would soon be done :)

since SPM  is over, I found a job.
actually, I was offered the job.
so I have been working for the past month and been doing some silly mistakes.
I am currently teaching primary school children and they are really indescribable.
I didn't know they could be such a tough job to handle.
but I have been enjoying myself teaching them and hopefully they enjoy my company.
*patiently waiting for my salary*

a new life.
a new journey.
new friends.
some became very close.
one became the person that I love deeply.
it's funny how I've seen him so many times, thinking to myself that maybe one day I would get to know him.
maybe one day maybe he could be mine.
wish fulfilled.
it has been 16 days.
these 16 days are deeply precious to me.
because there was never a day he did not make me smile.
i love the way his smell still lingers on me even after a long time.
i love the way he holds my hand so tight as if he would not let me go.
is he the right one?
who knows?
only God does.
if i did not make this move, i would never know whether this is the right path I'm suppose to take.
try and error.
learnt a lot from mistakes made in the past.
time to cherish moments like this and not wasting any more time. :)

two more days to a new year.
a new start.
wishing everyone a blessed new year and may your wishes come true.

sincerely and lots of love,
ANN.

insanity.

Insanity.
Rough week. Rough week.
Nothing seems to be better.
All you hear is sighs and never ending sighs.
Do you know why i don't want to study here?
it's because i don't want to see your damn face anymore.
I might as well leave.
Leave. Leave. Leave.