again and again and again.

again and again and again.
it always happens.
just when i thought things will be fine,when things will be alright, everything just come crashes down.
i believe you came into my life for a reason and left for a reason.
now , i just have to move on, slowly.
i think what i did was right.
I've known this except i wasn't admitting it to myself, i was living in denial.
the word "sorry" does not make me feel any happier instead it makes me feel stupider.
for holding on for such a long period of time.
convincing myself that you still love me.
i have given you so many chances to tell me the truth , yet, you didn't tell me the truth.
you should have told me earlier.
i don't regret, neither am i in depression.
i guess i am handling this quite well.
better than all previous relationships.
i know God is with me through everything i do.
i know He is there.


yesterday and today was one of the most amazing moments i have in church.
after such a long time, i felt His presence again.
it was such a wonderful feeling.
i cried today and i didn't even know why.
i felt Him stood beside me saying, my dear child, I am here.
i broke down after i heard that.
i have been straying away from Him.
and yet He stood by me.
after all of the sins i have committed, He was still there for me.
and this was like an awakening call, to go back to Him.
i am truly blessed, to have so many people around me who cares.
through trials and tribulations, they were always there for me.
they're like God-sent-angels.
how wonderful.
i thank God for placing them in my life.
they mean so much to me.
i also wanna thank Pastor Victor King for that amazing message he shared with us today.
i needed it.


thank you everyone for dropping by and God bless all of you :)

<3,
miss awesome.