i hate this.

i hate this.
i do not know why i feel this way.
can't it just go away?
please, just leave me.
these feelings won't leave me.
last week, miss GORGEOUS helped me to tell him the way i felt about him.
i really wanna thank her for doing so. :)
but it seems to be bad news.
guess he wasn't interested.
the sad part was i thought he was?
i wasn't really prepared to face this.
i don't know what to do.
i hate this.
i hate this so much.
i just simply wish that this feeling will go away because i know that we aren't going to work out.
i knew that from the beginning.
i have been sitting there looking at him, wishing you will just turn and look at me.
sometimes you do, and when you do, i just stare.
i wanted to smile but i forgot.
how funny is that!
every time i see you smile, i will smile on the inside.
your smile makes me smile.
the more i think about you, the more i can't stop thinking about you.
the more i can't let go.
i regret knowing who you are because you made me fall in love with you.
i regret knowing you when you don't know who i am.
all i am is just a normal girl living on this earth.
why is this happening?
can't this feeling just go away?
i don't feel like seeing you next week.
i don't know what will happen, what are the consequences, and how you feel about me.
oh my gosh.
definitely it is not going to work out.
but there is some hope in me.
that hope that won't go away.
that hope where it kept on reminding me that we can be together when we cannot.
i do not want to see you.
i do not want to know what the consequences are.
i do not want to see you're smile again.
i don't want to know how you feel about me.
i don't want.
why can't i stop?
i hate it the way i remember you were playing the drums.
i hate the way i remember the way you look.
i hate the way i remember the way you smile and melt my heart.
can i just forget you?


two more days. :)