i have had enough.

i have had enough.
i cannot take this anymore.
i don't understand why both of you want to make my life this miserable.
it is even worst when i am the only one who knows what is happening.
no one else does.
don't you know it is so hard for me to go through this ?
you all somehow just don't bother do you ?
you all should have get it over and done with years ago but you have to drag it till now.
NOW.
why?
isn't life already hard enough ?
why do you have to make it harder?
all these things are piling up one by one after each day.
all you wanna do is do things by yourself and bla bla bla.
you have got us committed to this church and now you want us to leave ?
no. enough is enough.
i am leaving.

have you ever seen a bird fly ?

have you ever seen a bird fly ?
it looks so easy for them.
just flap their wings and there they go.
they can go where ever they want, do whatever they want.
so much of freedom.
sometimes i envy them.
knowing that they have so much of freedom.
they are so free.
why can't we be like that ?
as free as them ?
instead, we have to study like mad people trying to understand things we don't want to understand.
we have to work to earn money.
we have to go through all the obstacles in life.
obstacles we did not choose.
so many things to take into consideration in so many things.
why can't we have the freedom which birds have ?

i am very annoyed.
annoyed with every single thing.
i have a never ending headache and i don't seem to know what is the cause.
it won't stop!
i can't read any of my novels because it would just make it worst.
then there is graduation.
oh my goodness.
i cannot take this anymore!
i am always stuck in the middle.
no choice but to follow orders and instructions given.
i am so fed up.
partly the reason why i don't want to go for it.
i don't find it to have any benefit.
i see more of the disadvantages compared to the advantages.
i think i have made the right choice. :)

in life, you will meet a lot of people on the way.
along the way, some of those people can really get on your nerves.
really.
seriously.
it's completely ridiculous!
yes, you want it, basically, you want everything to be right for yourself.
everything is just yourself, yourself and yourself.
different people have different ways of seeing things.
so what makes you think that being right all the time is correct?
have you ever thought about other people?
obviously, you don't, do you ?
you have to, i repeat, YOU HAVE TO win every single argument.
what's the point?
do you get a trophy?
do you get money ?
NO !
you do not.
sadly.
so then why act like that ?
why make everyone hate you ?
i cannot take this anymore.
facing this every single day.
i am so fed up and that's why i just don't want to talk to you.
don't you realise you are such a pain in the butt ?
well, i guess you don't.
that's why you are like that.
that's why you want everything to be done in your way.
good luck in handling life, you self-centred person.

i cannot act as if nothing has happened.
i could not believe it myself.
i guess i have expected too much in return.
but i had never thought of it as something that was very hard to do.
i wonder whether you really value this.
i wonder whether you really bother about it.
if you don't, all these years would have been put to waste.
i really can't believe what you have done.
i am so disappointed in you.
very, very disappointed.

been getting back marks for trials.
some are better than i have expected, some are well, just down the drains.
the consequences when i don't study.
so now, all i can do is blame myself.
i only have a month left till the real exam.
until now, i don't see the point of sitting for this exam.
yes, it can help me to get into colleges and bla bla bla.
sadly, i don't want to sit for this exam.
it freaks me out.
time is running out.
and i am still stuck in my world, my time.

girls.
guys.
a relationship.
i believe that being a girl, you must have pride.
you must not let a guy have it all.
i have learnt from past mistakes.
knowing that i cannot force what cannot be forced.
love.
love cannot be forced.
it is something you are willing to do.
like willing to love someone with all your heart.
so what if you know that either one of you have lost interest?
i believe that that person should make a move and just end the relationship.
what for you let something go on and on when there is no love in it ?
sometimes, people like you should learn to let go and just live your life.
don't you know how worried your parents are?
guess you don't.
i may not be very close with you, but i can tell you that you have mixed with the wrong company.
it's not too late to come out of it.
hey , let it go.
be someone new :)

i am currently reading the second book of The Hunger Games, Catching Fire.
it is so nice!
i can't wait till this headache goes away so that i can finish it and start on the third!
can't wait can't wait !\

some things may come and go. 

but in all circumstances, please, don't give up :)

that's all for now. 

so far everyday is really not my day. 

anyway, thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you ! 

lots of love, 

miss awesome. 

i am back.

i am back.
it feels good !
well, everything feels good.

trials are over now.
what a tremendous relieve !
after it finished, i have been eating lots of chocolates, ice cream and all the junk in the world!
my freedom has finally returned.
owing to the fact that i have my freedom back, i have read two novels in two days.
and it feels great !
i have my new favourite book now, Song of  the Sparrow.

my new favourite :)

and just by looking at the cover, it took my breath away. 

the storyline was awesome and i loved how it has been written. 

one word, WOW. 

i suggest you to buy this book ! 

haha. 

next, The Hunger Games. 

surprisingly, the pump it up is back in town ! 

it has been fully upgraded i guess. 

i am so addicted to it though i don't play like a professional. 

those guys, freak me out. 

they are so good in it! 

i wonder when i could play like that. 

currently trying to master a song called Deja Vu. 

time to step it up ! 

i am currently filled with boredom. 

i can't find a single thing to do except to read my novels. 

i guess i have to find something else to do ! 

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you. 

will update more soon, i hope. 

stay healthy ! :D 

loves, 

missawesome. 

shocking news.

shocking news.
well, what kind of news do you think this is ?
it is the worst kind.
i found out that i was selected for national service.
my heart fell.
yes, it literally did.
i was so anxious and comforting myself before the result was out.
but sadly i was picked.
reality did not slap me in the face so i decided to retype my identification card number again and again.
the same thing kept on appearing.
gosh. i could not believe it.
i thought i was dreaming !
i told most of my family members.
sort of actually.
my aunt told me it would be a great experience and it is maybe God's will for me to go there.
but hey, i need to be away for 3 months and i can do so much in three months !
i could have earned some money or do something else that i really love !
i would definitely be homesick.
terribly.
i guess i have to accept the fact and move on.
if it is really Go's will, i am waiting to see what are His plans for me.
i bet it would be spectacular!

school.
it has been boring without miss gorgeous.
it's like something is missing some where.
i know time will pass fast and i will see her soon :)
hope that she will enjoy her time there.
besides that, i have been laughing a lot in class.
it's as if we don't have an important exam coming up and we're laughing like mad.
is this a part of the journey or is this my laziness ?
i have not even started studying and as usual no one will believe me.
how sad can that be.
haha.
been eating a lot also lately.
i can't control myself.
i enjoy eating too much.
putting on weight is my fault and i so called wanna "lose weight".
goodness.

sometimes i wonder whether i met you by accident or is it fate ?
why is nothing happening ?
everything is so dull now.
it's like we're strangers again.
something which i wished it didn't happen.
but i can't blame you.
you're working and I'm studying.
maybe it's not meant to be.
i really wish we could work it out though.
sometimes i wonder if you stare at my pictures as much as i do ?
or if you think of me as often as i do ?
or even wish to text me as much as i do ?
I'm really scared to bother you.
and most importantly,
i miss you.
i really do.
don't ask me why.
even i don't know the reason.

just take my hand and fall in love with me again. 

waiting for miracles to happen. 

i am still waiting. 

that's all for now guess.
been very lazy to update stuff.
so yeah, thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !

lots of love, 
miss awesome. 

hello there stranger :)

hello there stranger :)
you are a dream come true.

exams are coming !
what's new about that?
obviously i have not done anything yet.
I'm busy playing games on my phone.
and i have been day dreaming a lot, i really do mean a lot.
been imagining stuff that has 99% of not happening.
i guess i read too much of romance novels.
they drive my imaginations wild.

school has been a place of madness nowadays.
everyone is going extra nuts and it is as if we have a party every single day.
we're all laughing and gossiping non-stop.
I'm glad to have friends like that though.
they make life more interesting :)
i have also been eating a lot.
i feel so fat now.
sounds so depressing.
haha.

went for a reunion dinner last Saturday.
it was the best dinner i have ever ever been to.
it was so fun!
my friends and i were crazy as usual, the ex-students of our school thought that were insane.
well, that ain't anything new.
i hope i can upload the pictures soon :)
that Saturday was filled with laughter and joy.
and plus, EVERYONE LOOKED SUPERB !
so then i lead worship on the next day and everyone said that i have improved!
wow, love to hear that more often! :D
and i believed that God really pull me through all those stuff that i had went through on that day.
it was so awesome to feel His presence there with me.
He whispered the words "my child, i will always be with you."
i was so touched i cried.
the best sentence ever in the entire world.
i need nothing more than that.
it was perfect.

so yeah. that's about it for now.
thank you for dropping by and God bless all of you ! :)
stay healthy everyone ! :D

will you help me find true love ? 

will you help me to start believing in fairy tales again ? 

love,
miss awesome. 

i'm sorry, i can't take it anymore.

I'm sorry, i can't take it anymore.
you always corrected us when we were wrong, sometimes even when we were right.
i don't mind you correcting me when i am wrong, i am not perfect.
but when i am right, i can't even get my points straight because you are being one way street minded.
it's so annoying.
i have my rights to tell you what i did was right.
don't i ?
try looking at yourself at the mirror.
look at yourself before you judge someone else.
i am so disappointed in you till i have no words to say.
i just can't wait to get out from this place and just let go of everything.
this is really getting too much and it's starting to pile up.
one day, i am going to explode.
so i suggest you , better watch out.

got top 10 in class!
i have improved :)
but it wasn't enough.
so sad.
i guess i expected too much.

a day of relieve.
it doesn't belong to me anymore.
at last.
it's not my responsibility anymore.
superb glad.
thank you for everything you have done, thank you for those times when you stood for me.
thank you for proving to me that love does not exist.
thank you for giving me in the slap on the face to not fall to hard next time.

sports day is tomorrow.
i have no voice, i am coughing and i have flu.
oh goodness me.
i don't know how am i gonna go through it tomorrow.
i just pray that God will heal and guide me through tomorrow.
all the best to all the marching contingents!

thank you for dropping by and God bless all of you!
remember to drink lots of water and stay healthy unlike me !
and please do continue praying for the haze and the weather. :)

love, 
miss awesome.

lost in my own world.

lost in my own world.
where am i ?
i feel so lost.
sometimes, i just wish to sit at the corner of the room and cry and cry and cry.
for no reason.
i feel as if my own world is crashing down on me.

got my results back for my mid term exam.
well, as usual, it ain't satisfying.
time to put in lots of effort and time into my studies!
i did improve on some particular subjects though.
glad i passed all my exams so far.
and surprisingly, i passed my history exams!
that is so weird.
i presumed that i would fail that test.

i am now, sitting here staring into space.
well, kinda?
thinking about what i have done.
was it meant to be or was it a lesson ?
i am wondering whether i have made the right decision about things.
sometimes i just feel like whacking myself.
i knew there was something wrong somewhere.
but unfortunately, i have left it just the way it was.
dead.
it's my fault.
for falling for you.
for thinking that love was real.
for wishing that i could have you all to myself.
everything didn't turn out the way it was suppose to be.
sad to say.

went out with a close friend of mine during the holidays, here are some photos :)

had lots of fun shooting aliens and heart to heart talk :)
a truly amazing friend.

back when you were mine, 

everything turned out as it seems, 

a dream come true, 

in the end, it  proved nothing but heartache and sorrows.

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
remember to stay healthy and eat well :)


love, 
miss awesome. 

life beyond what you can imagine.

life beyond what you can imagine.
sometimes, you dream too much.
sometimes, you wish too much.
sometimes, you dream and wish too much.
that's what i did.
making wishes hoping they would come true just like in movies.
sadly, they are all worthless.
i wasted a lot of my time doing things i shouldn't be doing.
in the end, i am the one who regret.
it brought me nothing but misery.

holidays are soon to be over now.
how sad.
i wish we had a month of holidays and no homework at all.
too bad i have got to finish the rest of my homework including my add math project.
how sickening.
i have been a very very lazy person.
my uncle gave me a laptop !
and it is a mini one.
it's so cool !
it is kinda outdated but i am happy to have it!
i wished to have one of these for quite some time now. :D

i am worship leading again this sunday.
i pray that everything will just go on smoothly.
and i am finally getting baptised !
feel so excited !
i finally get to do it !

so yeah, that's about it for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
hope you all enjoy your holidays :)

finally, i have gotten over you. 

you didn't deserve anything  at all.

love, 

miss awesome.