like dandelion dust.

like dandelion dust.
everything just disappears.
gone within your reach.
never gonna get it back.

i am really lazy to update so these are the conclusions i have made for the past one month.
happiness.
joy.
sadness.
disappointment.
love.
heartbroken.
fear.
anxiety.
crazy.
madness.
insanity.
sick.
lost.
fall.
regret.
boredom.

like dandelion dust, you were just blown away by the wind and never to be found. 

where are you now?

do you still remember me ? 

do you still think of me ?

nothing was ever worth it. 

you were there and the next thing i know, you were gone. 

what happened? 

was it suppose to happen? 

i feel like such a failure of not letting go. 

why is it so hard? 

why can't you just leave my life and leave me alone? 

that's all for now.
been very busy for the past one month.
will update more often during the holidays. :)
remember to pray for the weather !


love,
missawesome.

misery.

misery.
a day i wake up is a day closer to SPM.
gosh, just thinking about it makes me go nuts!
why do we have to sit for it anyways ?!
i hate this.
and now mid year exams are coming and i haven't even started studying yet.
nothing new.
time to start doing something that i would be proud of.

i thought things was getting better but everything is turning upside down again.
what is the point of the word 'sorry' or 'love' when both parties don't even understand the true meaning of it ?
yes , i know that we're all human and we make mistakes.
but this has gone too far.
you told me that you held on to it for so long cause of that little love you still have for each other.
but looking at it , does it make a difference ?
does that tiny bit of love make a difference ?
i don't see any difference.
i don't understand why don't you just end this and stop going through all these shit that you have to go through ?
isn't 18 years enough already ?


April 11th.
miss gorgeous' birthday !
weehoooooooo.
had a tiny surprise for her.
glad she enjoyed every single moment.
i am lazy to update about it.
waiting for the pictures to be uploaded.
:)


sick of this.
sick of life.
in the end, i ain't giving up.

<3,
miss awesome.

unexpected feelings.

unexpected feelings.

today is Easter !
i had lots of fun with my dear juniors organizing the Easter event in my school.
it was a success !
though the number wasn't very big, we all know that He was there watching over us.
we went to parade after that to party !
i felt so comfortable with them , we're like a big family.
i feel the love between us and it feels awesome. :)


you are such a bastard.
if you knew you couldn't love me then why be with me in the first place?
you only thought you could let it go but in the end you still couldn't.
right ?
we have dragged it for 3 months !
i don't know why you couldn't tell me the truth.
i gave you so many chances !
thank goodness, i am over you.
so over you.
and it seems now you're trying to chase someone else ?
i wish your future girlfriend good luck then.
because being with you is a huge mistake.


i am still waiting.
waiting for your answer :)


thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
Happy Easter Day everyone ! :D


<3,
miss awesome. 

again and again and again.

again and again and again.
it always happens.
just when i thought things will be fine,when things will be alright, everything just come crashes down.
i believe you came into my life for a reason and left for a reason.
now , i just have to move on, slowly.
i think what i did was right.
I've known this except i wasn't admitting it to myself, i was living in denial.
the word "sorry" does not make me feel any happier instead it makes me feel stupider.
for holding on for such a long period of time.
convincing myself that you still love me.
i have given you so many chances to tell me the truth , yet, you didn't tell me the truth.
you should have told me earlier.
i don't regret, neither am i in depression.
i guess i am handling this quite well.
better than all previous relationships.
i know God is with me through everything i do.
i know He is there.


yesterday and today was one of the most amazing moments i have in church.
after such a long time, i felt His presence again.
it was such a wonderful feeling.
i cried today and i didn't even know why.
i felt Him stood beside me saying, my dear child, I am here.
i broke down after i heard that.
i have been straying away from Him.
and yet He stood by me.
after all of the sins i have committed, He was still there for me.
and this was like an awakening call, to go back to Him.
i am truly blessed, to have so many people around me who cares.
through trials and tribulations, they were always there for me.
they're like God-sent-angels.
how wonderful.
i thank God for placing them in my life.
they mean so much to me.
i also wanna thank Pastor Victor King for that amazing message he shared with us today.
i needed it.


thank you everyone for dropping by and God bless all of you :)

<3,
miss awesome.

jealousy.

jealousy.
why does this feeling exist ?
i really want to know.

i don't care about how your body is more hotter or sexier than mine.
i really don't care.
so what if it is ?
i don't want some guy to like me cause of the shape or the curves of my body.
i want him to love me for who i am.
if you wanna say all these things , don't tell it to another friend of mine.
tell it to me, face to face, eye to eye.
because if you really want him then take him.
i don't wanna be someone standing in the way of two people that are in love or whatsoever.
just tell me.
i hate people talking about me behind my back.
if not then just shut up and keep it to yourself you slut.
stop being jealous cause I'm with your ex and bla bla bla.
you were the one who didn't want him.
you were the one who could not accept him the way he is.
so get lost.
thank you very much.

having a singing competition tomorrow.
i just pray we get through the semi-finals !
pray for us ! :D

if you don't love me anymore, just tell me. 

i don't wanna continue this if there was never love in our relationship. 

i don't know whether it's true, but if it is, it's time to end it. 

thank you for dropping by and God bless all of you. :)


<3,
miss awesome. 

i hate it.

i hate it.
i hate the way so many girls surround you.
i hate the way things has changed.
i hate everything.
i admit, i am jealous.

been getting back results for the past two days.
not really happy with it but i can't do anything with it.
so far i have not fail anything yet.
i really thank God as He was always with me and gave me good results though i didn't really study.
i had a singing competition today and i passed !
i did a duet with my friend.
glad we passed.
i hope we nail it in the semi finals !

so i think that's about it.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you ! :)

<3,
miss awesome.

i think too much.

i think too much.
i waste a lot of time thinking of stuff that i should not be thinking of.
in the end, i end up being tensed up.
thinking about it and wondering whether it was true or false.
then i make my own conclusions.
i have no idea whether i am right or wrong.
i hate this kind of feeling.
it kills me.
i hate it so badly.
i really want to know the truth.
do you still love me ?



that's all for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you.


<3,
miss awesome.

one of the best day in my life :)

one of the best day in my life :)
i went out with miss gorgeous yesterday.
we planned to do our homework.
well, we managed to do some.
the rest were all laughter and talking rubbish.
i met a few people.
including Darren :)
he helped miss gorgeous with her homework !
how nice of him.
he was really funny :D
he left when we were having our lunch in black canyon.
the food there is not bad.
not bad at all.
we went to the pet shop to see some creepy crawlies :)
miss gorgeous was disgusted.
haha.
we left and went on a mission to get miss gorgeous a wallet.
as usual, she takes a billion years just to choose one.
i was going crazy !
in the end she bought one and i was relieved.
the promoter there thinks we're crazy.
haha, that was very normal though.
then both of us went to our respective tuitions.
i was dying.
wishing i could sleep!
too bad i couldn't and end up making a lot of noise.
more than the usual.
it was one of the best days in my entire life. :D
i truly enjoyed myself. :)


we spoke till it was 2 in the morning.
wish i could talk more with him.
and i guess, we both needed that.
we both needed to hear each others voices again.
everything is better now after that phone call.
can't wait for our third month anniversary.
i pray that he remembers ! :D
it's funny the way people ask me why i like him.
it's just love.
the best feeling on earth :)
i love him more than anything in this world.
i really do.


been practicing for my worship this Sunday.
i pray that everything will go on smoothly.
can't wait ! :D


that's all for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you :)

love can bring you into a whole new world. 

things you have never imagined will come true. 

it became a world of my own where imaginations run wild. 

 

<3,
miss awesome.