Hello World.

Hello World.

i have not been blogging for a long period of time as i had issues with my laptop.
i finally got a new laptop now.
so blessed, so blessed.

i am currently studying in a different state, therefore, new people, new experiences, new knowledge.
i am truly blessed as i am fortunate to have the opportunity to even come here when many are not able to.
in my college, sometimes it so heartbroken to see that all those who are born into a wealthy family, all who have been fed with a silver spoon, take so many things for granted.
they act as if things fall from the sky.
well, these people will never learn , would they?

life has been truly awesome here, i can never ask for more.
i have met all sorts of people here.
people who back stabs you.
people who lie to you.
people who trust you.
people who take you for granted.
people who would never appreciate your hard work.
people who are selfish.
people who are superb greedy.
and people who love you.
basically, you meet the whole world here.
something to prepare you to face the world outside.
the cold cold world outside.

when i first came here, i was truly excited, anticipating what will come next in this new aspect of life.
of course i do miss home and the people i love.
the only thing i have never regretted since i came here is that i broke up with my ex.
if i have not mistaken,i must have spoken about him somewhere in the history of this blog.
i believe i said something like i will love him forever and he is the one for me or some bullshit like that.
well, i guess i was too young and immature to think about all that stuff and so i broke it off with him.
that process ain't that easy but how can i go on when i already know that he isn't right for me?
he does not even earn any money and when i think about the future, i wonder how would i survive.
many people have already told me, "hey, he isn't the one for you."
who would ever listen and obey to that?
obviously i didn't until i started to wake up after i came here.
that's a start to a new life.

i met a lot of nice guys here.
not to forget the guys who are a lil crazy.
then there we go again.
i fell in love.
this time, i can guarantee you that it is so different.
i have been in this relationship for five months now.
this is my longest relationship so far.
he is such a blessing to my life.
he is now fetching me to and fro to college.
he is truly a blessing to me.
we had a lot of ups and downs and strongly kept this relationship going.
you might not see him as someone who looks like Chris Hemsworth or someone who is as wealthy as Oprah but i see him as someone perfect to me.
that is all that matters.

this is all for now.
to all of you out there who are struggling in your life, remember that there is a God who is always there for you.
Philippians 4:13 , I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Amen.

signing off,
Ann.

hello, oh hello!

i have been missing but now, I AM BACK.
i have been enjoying my college life so far despite of all the dramas in college.
well, ain't that typical?
it has been hard but it ain't stopping me from anything.

well, there is nothing more than that.

it's time to change the world.

signing off,
Ann.

saying goodbye isn't an easy thing.

saying goodbye isn't an easy thing.
therefore saying goodbye to last year wasn't easy.
I can ever afford to let those memories to fade away just like that.
but time pass so fast.
so hard to keep those things in mind.

this is a new year.
a new beginning to a start of a new year.
ironic, how things are.
new year is a special day for everyone and it is suppose to be a happy and joyous day.
for me?
it turn out terribly.
sad.

nagging or caring?
I have no idea.
so much of nagging.
I feel like banging my head against the wall.
after I have made my own decisions, you decide to change them.
then what's the point of asking me to make up my mind in the first place?!
might as well you just stop talking and leave me alone.
seriously.
psycho.

thanks for dropping by and may you have a blessed year ahead.
God bless you! :)

love,
Ann.

a part of growing up.

a part of growing up.
time flies.
flies faster than the speed of light.
everything just passed as if it had never happened.
as if everything was forgotten.
thinking back of the days when I was just a primary school student, wishing I could be a grown up, living my own dreams.
now I'm here.
well, this is not what I have expected.

this is the time where I get nervous.
thinking about the results that I would be getting in a few months time.
praying that God would grant me my heart's desire.
praying that there would be absolutely no mistake in marking my test papers.

this is the time, friends and family members asks :
"hey, big girl already huh? so where are you going to study? what course would you be taking?"
the amount of questions does not end there.
there are more and those questions seem to haunt you, day and night.
sometimes I get so fed up, I would just simply entertain them and make them satisfied with my answers.
even my dad is pushing me a lot lately.
come on, I have just finished my SPM, give me a break please!
can't you give me some time to enjoy my own life before my college life starts?
time is still on my side.
please.
give me a break.

driving lessons are torturing me.
terribly.
the first computer test was a piece of cake.
now, it's practical.
and oh shit, I suck at it big time.
I drove on the road the other day.
my instructor wasn't happy with me, at all.
he said it's like I have a rain cloud above my head and that I don't know what I am doing.
URGH.
I felt like kicking his ass.
he's sitting next to me, talking on the phone to someone about his girlfriend?
HEY, HELLO?! I AM DRIVING! ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH ME OR NOT?!
and then he would text and text and text.
my goodness gracious.
then he kept on pointing out my mistakes and I was getting to sick of myself.
he kept on stepping on the emergency brake when I was about to brake and yell at me and asked why didn't I brake!
OH MY GOODNESS.
for your information, I WAS ABOUT TO !
I have driving lessons again tomorrow.
*fingers crossed.*

Christmas has just passed.
I am so proud of my own performance and the day ended well.
I did make some mistakes.
and I felt really bad.
anyway, the good news is, pastor is asking me to sing with his wife a song he has written long ago.
he said he might bring me along if they are visiting any other churches to sing the song.
I feel so truly blessed.

I am currently planning on making a music video of my own.
I'm looking for musicians and someone who has a really good camera! :D
I hope it would soon be done :)

since SPM  is over, I found a job.
actually, I was offered the job.
so I have been working for the past month and been doing some silly mistakes.
I am currently teaching primary school children and they are really indescribable.
I didn't know they could be such a tough job to handle.
but I have been enjoying myself teaching them and hopefully they enjoy my company.
*patiently waiting for my salary*

a new life.
a new journey.
new friends.
some became very close.
one became the person that I love deeply.
it's funny how I've seen him so many times, thinking to myself that maybe one day I would get to know him.
maybe one day maybe he could be mine.
wish fulfilled.
it has been 16 days.
these 16 days are deeply precious to me.
because there was never a day he did not make me smile.
i love the way his smell still lingers on me even after a long time.
i love the way he holds my hand so tight as if he would not let me go.
is he the right one?
who knows?
only God does.
if i did not make this move, i would never know whether this is the right path I'm suppose to take.
try and error.
learnt a lot from mistakes made in the past.
time to cherish moments like this and not wasting any more time. :)

two more days to a new year.
a new start.
wishing everyone a blessed new year and may your wishes come true.

sincerely and lots of love,
ANN.

insanity.

Insanity.
Rough week. Rough week.
Nothing seems to be better.
All you hear is sighs and never ending sighs.
Do you know why i don't want to study here?
it's because i don't want to see your damn face anymore.
I might as well leave.
Leave. Leave. Leave.

the end of teenage dreams.

the end of teenage dreams.
this will be the last month i get to wear my uniform, white socks, white shoes, tie and badge.
tomorrow will be the last day i serve the school as a class monitor.
tomorrow is the last day to have fun.
time pass so fast.
it has been 5 years that i have dreamt to be here and now it comes to an end.
now, all that is left is THE EXAM.
have to work my ass off now.
i feel so old now.
i don't even feel like a teenager anymore.
it's almost time to step out into the real world.
scaryyyyyyyyyyyy.
will keep you updated :)
remember to stay healthy and be safe !

love,
missawesome.

put all the blame on me.

put all the blame on me.
that's all what you adults know how to do.
you want to separate then just do it.
don't tell me some bullshit saying that you all are not going to separate yet because of me and my stupid exams.
i don't give a shit to my exams thanks to you people.
do you think my exams makes more sense now?
no it doesn't!
it makes it worst!
and now i would gladly put the blame back to you.
have you seen how my results are lately?
you know it deep down that i have been worst since last year.
you know this is a fact.
have you ever thought the reason why?
no i guess not.
it is obviously because of you people.
i did not choose to come into this world, did i ?
no i didn't.
after so many times thinking that i should kill myself and end all these shit, in the end i thought to myself that i have two sisters who are counting on me later in life because basically, and obviously, both of you are of no use.
and everyday i think to myself, whether i could live happily, in a perfect family where flaws are accepted and not rejected.
i don't feel like staying here any more.
there ain't no reason why i am here.
do you know how painful it was to watch one drive away in front of a 5 year old kid when that kid did not even know what the heck was happening?
it was to the extreme only i could understand.
to hear them laugh after what had happened hurt me the most.
innocent laughs.
they just simply didn't understand.
but i did.
and it breaks my heart.
being here just breaks my heart.
you don't know how much i wish for it to mend.
you will never ever know.
because both of you are selfish people.
you never think before you do and the consequences that come chasing after your children and not you.
i wish someone would just dump me in an alley, with lots of cash, so that i could live on my own.
sometimes, i just wish that i was never chosen to be born because i simply mean nothing to you.
nothing.

i did not choose this. 

neither do you know how painful it is. 

you said you do but you never ever will. 

wish everything could be undone.

excuse me ?!

excuse me?!
what have i done to make you say those things?
you think i am being a pain in the ass?
well, look in the mirror mister.
are you that great ?
the fact is we are all awesome because we are all created in God's image.
but sadly, you just destroyed everything.
you call yourself a son of God and go around cursing everyone you can?
does that bring any good to you ?
let me bring you back early this year.
can you please think of what you have done to me ?
you have broken my heart into so many pieces i could barely even count.
you called me your 'girlfriend' then flirt with other girls?
wow.
ain't that fantastic?
and now you're calling me a b****?
oh wait oh wait.
shouldn't i be calling you that ?
you think that i don't have facebook so i wouldn't see that ?
well, you are TERRIBLY WRONG.
WRONG!
i hate you even more now.
i can't even stand taking one look at you.
you make me puke.
and yes, i shouldn't be saying all this, but i gladly think you deserved it.
i did not even do anything wrong!
and just because of that small lil thing you say that ?
i wonder why are you so famous.
you are pathetically useless.
want me to spell it for you ?
U-S-E-L-E-S-S.
not just that, you are worthless.
you lie so much i wonder who is going to stand by you in the end.
the worst thing is, i can't believe i fell for you.
and somehow, you just turned the story upside down and telling everyone lies about me and you.
why?
why could you ever do that?
I'm sorry but you are a terrible human being.
TERRIBLE.
you simply portray such a bad personality.
i seriously feel like smacking you into pieces.
i really do.
instead, I'll let God handle you.

you worthless useless creature.  

i have had enough.

i have had enough.
i cannot take this anymore.
i don't understand why both of you want to make my life this miserable.
it is even worst when i am the only one who knows what is happening.
no one else does.
don't you know it is so hard for me to go through this ?
you all somehow just don't bother do you ?
you all should have get it over and done with years ago but you have to drag it till now.
NOW.
why?
isn't life already hard enough ?
why do you have to make it harder?
all these things are piling up one by one after each day.
all you wanna do is do things by yourself and bla bla bla.
you have got us committed to this church and now you want us to leave ?
no. enough is enough.
i am leaving.

have you ever seen a bird fly ?

have you ever seen a bird fly ?
it looks so easy for them.
just flap their wings and there they go.
they can go where ever they want, do whatever they want.
so much of freedom.
sometimes i envy them.
knowing that they have so much of freedom.
they are so free.
why can't we be like that ?
as free as them ?
instead, we have to study like mad people trying to understand things we don't want to understand.
we have to work to earn money.
we have to go through all the obstacles in life.
obstacles we did not choose.
so many things to take into consideration in so many things.
why can't we have the freedom which birds have ?

i am very annoyed.
annoyed with every single thing.
i have a never ending headache and i don't seem to know what is the cause.
it won't stop!
i can't read any of my novels because it would just make it worst.
then there is graduation.
oh my goodness.
i cannot take this anymore!
i am always stuck in the middle.
no choice but to follow orders and instructions given.
i am so fed up.
partly the reason why i don't want to go for it.
i don't find it to have any benefit.
i see more of the disadvantages compared to the advantages.
i think i have made the right choice. :)

in life, you will meet a lot of people on the way.
along the way, some of those people can really get on your nerves.
really.
seriously.
it's completely ridiculous!
yes, you want it, basically, you want everything to be right for yourself.
everything is just yourself, yourself and yourself.
different people have different ways of seeing things.
so what makes you think that being right all the time is correct?
have you ever thought about other people?
obviously, you don't, do you ?
you have to, i repeat, YOU HAVE TO win every single argument.
what's the point?
do you get a trophy?
do you get money ?
NO !
you do not.
sadly.
so then why act like that ?
why make everyone hate you ?
i cannot take this anymore.
facing this every single day.
i am so fed up and that's why i just don't want to talk to you.
don't you realise you are such a pain in the butt ?
well, i guess you don't.
that's why you are like that.
that's why you want everything to be done in your way.
good luck in handling life, you self-centred person.

i cannot act as if nothing has happened.
i could not believe it myself.
i guess i have expected too much in return.
but i had never thought of it as something that was very hard to do.
i wonder whether you really value this.
i wonder whether you really bother about it.
if you don't, all these years would have been put to waste.
i really can't believe what you have done.
i am so disappointed in you.
very, very disappointed.

been getting back marks for trials.
some are better than i have expected, some are well, just down the drains.
the consequences when i don't study.
so now, all i can do is blame myself.
i only have a month left till the real exam.
until now, i don't see the point of sitting for this exam.
yes, it can help me to get into colleges and bla bla bla.
sadly, i don't want to sit for this exam.
it freaks me out.
time is running out.
and i am still stuck in my world, my time.

girls.
guys.
a relationship.
i believe that being a girl, you must have pride.
you must not let a guy have it all.
i have learnt from past mistakes.
knowing that i cannot force what cannot be forced.
love.
love cannot be forced.
it is something you are willing to do.
like willing to love someone with all your heart.
so what if you know that either one of you have lost interest?
i believe that that person should make a move and just end the relationship.
what for you let something go on and on when there is no love in it ?
sometimes, people like you should learn to let go and just live your life.
don't you know how worried your parents are?
guess you don't.
i may not be very close with you, but i can tell you that you have mixed with the wrong company.
it's not too late to come out of it.
hey , let it go.
be someone new :)

i am currently reading the second book of The Hunger Games, Catching Fire.
it is so nice!
i can't wait till this headache goes away so that i can finish it and start on the third!
can't wait can't wait !\

some things may come and go. 

but in all circumstances, please, don't give up :)

that's all for now. 

so far everyday is really not my day. 

anyway, thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you ! 

lots of love, 

miss awesome. 

i am back.

i am back.
it feels good !
well, everything feels good.

trials are over now.
what a tremendous relieve !
after it finished, i have been eating lots of chocolates, ice cream and all the junk in the world!
my freedom has finally returned.
owing to the fact that i have my freedom back, i have read two novels in two days.
and it feels great !
i have my new favourite book now, Song of  the Sparrow.

my new favourite :)

and just by looking at the cover, it took my breath away. 

the storyline was awesome and i loved how it has been written. 

one word, WOW. 

i suggest you to buy this book ! 

haha. 

next, The Hunger Games. 

surprisingly, the pump it up is back in town ! 

it has been fully upgraded i guess. 

i am so addicted to it though i don't play like a professional. 

those guys, freak me out. 

they are so good in it! 

i wonder when i could play like that. 

currently trying to master a song called Deja Vu. 

time to step it up ! 

i am currently filled with boredom. 

i can't find a single thing to do except to read my novels. 

i guess i have to find something else to do ! 

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you. 

will update more soon, i hope. 

stay healthy ! :D 

loves, 

missawesome. 

shocking news.

shocking news.
well, what kind of news do you think this is ?
it is the worst kind.
i found out that i was selected for national service.
my heart fell.
yes, it literally did.
i was so anxious and comforting myself before the result was out.
but sadly i was picked.
reality did not slap me in the face so i decided to retype my identification card number again and again.
the same thing kept on appearing.
gosh. i could not believe it.
i thought i was dreaming !
i told most of my family members.
sort of actually.
my aunt told me it would be a great experience and it is maybe God's will for me to go there.
but hey, i need to be away for 3 months and i can do so much in three months !
i could have earned some money or do something else that i really love !
i would definitely be homesick.
terribly.
i guess i have to accept the fact and move on.
if it is really Go's will, i am waiting to see what are His plans for me.
i bet it would be spectacular!

school.
it has been boring without miss gorgeous.
it's like something is missing some where.
i know time will pass fast and i will see her soon :)
hope that she will enjoy her time there.
besides that, i have been laughing a lot in class.
it's as if we don't have an important exam coming up and we're laughing like mad.
is this a part of the journey or is this my laziness ?
i have not even started studying and as usual no one will believe me.
how sad can that be.
haha.
been eating a lot also lately.
i can't control myself.
i enjoy eating too much.
putting on weight is my fault and i so called wanna "lose weight".
goodness.

sometimes i wonder whether i met you by accident or is it fate ?
why is nothing happening ?
everything is so dull now.
it's like we're strangers again.
something which i wished it didn't happen.
but i can't blame you.
you're working and I'm studying.
maybe it's not meant to be.
i really wish we could work it out though.
sometimes i wonder if you stare at my pictures as much as i do ?
or if you think of me as often as i do ?
or even wish to text me as much as i do ?
I'm really scared to bother you.
and most importantly,
i miss you.
i really do.
don't ask me why.
even i don't know the reason.

just take my hand and fall in love with me again. 

waiting for miracles to happen. 

i am still waiting. 

that's all for now guess.
been very lazy to update stuff.
so yeah, thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !

lots of love, 
miss awesome. 

hello there stranger :)

hello there stranger :)
you are a dream come true.

exams are coming !
what's new about that?
obviously i have not done anything yet.
I'm busy playing games on my phone.
and i have been day dreaming a lot, i really do mean a lot.
been imagining stuff that has 99% of not happening.
i guess i read too much of romance novels.
they drive my imaginations wild.

school has been a place of madness nowadays.
everyone is going extra nuts and it is as if we have a party every single day.
we're all laughing and gossiping non-stop.
I'm glad to have friends like that though.
they make life more interesting :)
i have also been eating a lot.
i feel so fat now.
sounds so depressing.
haha.

went for a reunion dinner last Saturday.
it was the best dinner i have ever ever been to.
it was so fun!
my friends and i were crazy as usual, the ex-students of our school thought that were insane.
well, that ain't anything new.
i hope i can upload the pictures soon :)
that Saturday was filled with laughter and joy.
and plus, EVERYONE LOOKED SUPERB !
so then i lead worship on the next day and everyone said that i have improved!
wow, love to hear that more often! :D
and i believed that God really pull me through all those stuff that i had went through on that day.
it was so awesome to feel His presence there with me.
He whispered the words "my child, i will always be with you."
i was so touched i cried.
the best sentence ever in the entire world.
i need nothing more than that.
it was perfect.

so yeah. that's about it for now.
thank you for dropping by and God bless all of you ! :)
stay healthy everyone ! :D

will you help me find true love ? 

will you help me to start believing in fairy tales again ? 

love,
miss awesome. 

i'm sorry, i can't take it anymore.

I'm sorry, i can't take it anymore.
you always corrected us when we were wrong, sometimes even when we were right.
i don't mind you correcting me when i am wrong, i am not perfect.
but when i am right, i can't even get my points straight because you are being one way street minded.
it's so annoying.
i have my rights to tell you what i did was right.
don't i ?
try looking at yourself at the mirror.
look at yourself before you judge someone else.
i am so disappointed in you till i have no words to say.
i just can't wait to get out from this place and just let go of everything.
this is really getting too much and it's starting to pile up.
one day, i am going to explode.
so i suggest you , better watch out.

got top 10 in class!
i have improved :)
but it wasn't enough.
so sad.
i guess i expected too much.

a day of relieve.
it doesn't belong to me anymore.
at last.
it's not my responsibility anymore.
superb glad.
thank you for everything you have done, thank you for those times when you stood for me.
thank you for proving to me that love does not exist.
thank you for giving me in the slap on the face to not fall to hard next time.

sports day is tomorrow.
i have no voice, i am coughing and i have flu.
oh goodness me.
i don't know how am i gonna go through it tomorrow.
i just pray that God will heal and guide me through tomorrow.
all the best to all the marching contingents!

thank you for dropping by and God bless all of you!
remember to drink lots of water and stay healthy unlike me !
and please do continue praying for the haze and the weather. :)

love, 
miss awesome.

lost in my own world.

lost in my own world.
where am i ?
i feel so lost.
sometimes, i just wish to sit at the corner of the room and cry and cry and cry.
for no reason.
i feel as if my own world is crashing down on me.

got my results back for my mid term exam.
well, as usual, it ain't satisfying.
time to put in lots of effort and time into my studies!
i did improve on some particular subjects though.
glad i passed all my exams so far.
and surprisingly, i passed my history exams!
that is so weird.
i presumed that i would fail that test.

i am now, sitting here staring into space.
well, kinda?
thinking about what i have done.
was it meant to be or was it a lesson ?
i am wondering whether i have made the right decision about things.
sometimes i just feel like whacking myself.
i knew there was something wrong somewhere.
but unfortunately, i have left it just the way it was.
dead.
it's my fault.
for falling for you.
for thinking that love was real.
for wishing that i could have you all to myself.
everything didn't turn out the way it was suppose to be.
sad to say.

went out with a close friend of mine during the holidays, here are some photos :)

had lots of fun shooting aliens and heart to heart talk :)
a truly amazing friend.

back when you were mine, 

everything turned out as it seems, 

a dream come true, 

in the end, it  proved nothing but heartache and sorrows.

thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
remember to stay healthy and eat well :)


love, 
miss awesome. 

life beyond what you can imagine.

life beyond what you can imagine.
sometimes, you dream too much.
sometimes, you wish too much.
sometimes, you dream and wish too much.
that's what i did.
making wishes hoping they would come true just like in movies.
sadly, they are all worthless.
i wasted a lot of my time doing things i shouldn't be doing.
in the end, i am the one who regret.
it brought me nothing but misery.

holidays are soon to be over now.
how sad.
i wish we had a month of holidays and no homework at all.
too bad i have got to finish the rest of my homework including my add math project.
how sickening.
i have been a very very lazy person.
my uncle gave me a laptop !
and it is a mini one.
it's so cool !
it is kinda outdated but i am happy to have it!
i wished to have one of these for quite some time now. :D

i am worship leading again this sunday.
i pray that everything will just go on smoothly.
and i am finally getting baptised !
feel so excited !
i finally get to do it !

so yeah, that's about it for now.
thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
hope you all enjoy your holidays :)

finally, i have gotten over you. 

you didn't deserve anything  at all.

love, 

miss awesome.

like dandelion dust.

like dandelion dust.
everything just disappears.
gone within your reach.
never gonna get it back.

i am really lazy to update so these are the conclusions i have made for the past one month.
happiness.
joy.
sadness.
disappointment.
love.
heartbroken.
fear.
anxiety.
crazy.
madness.
insanity.
sick.
lost.
fall.
regret.
boredom.

like dandelion dust, you were just blown away by the wind and never to be found. 

where are you now?

do you still remember me ? 

do you still think of me ?

nothing was ever worth it. 

you were there and the next thing i know, you were gone. 

what happened? 

was it suppose to happen? 

i feel like such a failure of not letting go. 

why is it so hard? 

why can't you just leave my life and leave me alone? 

that's all for now.
been very busy for the past one month.
will update more often during the holidays. :)
remember to pray for the weather !


love,
missawesome.

misery.

misery.
a day i wake up is a day closer to SPM.
gosh, just thinking about it makes me go nuts!
why do we have to sit for it anyways ?!
i hate this.
and now mid year exams are coming and i haven't even started studying yet.
nothing new.
time to start doing something that i would be proud of.

i thought things was getting better but everything is turning upside down again.
what is the point of the word 'sorry' or 'love' when both parties don't even understand the true meaning of it ?
yes , i know that we're all human and we make mistakes.
but this has gone too far.
you told me that you held on to it for so long cause of that little love you still have for each other.
but looking at it , does it make a difference ?
does that tiny bit of love make a difference ?
i don't see any difference.
i don't understand why don't you just end this and stop going through all these shit that you have to go through ?
isn't 18 years enough already ?


April 11th.
miss gorgeous' birthday !
weehoooooooo.
had a tiny surprise for her.
glad she enjoyed every single moment.
i am lazy to update about it.
waiting for the pictures to be uploaded.
:)


sick of this.
sick of life.
in the end, i ain't giving up.

<3,
miss awesome.

unexpected feelings.

unexpected feelings.

today is Easter !
i had lots of fun with my dear juniors organizing the Easter event in my school.
it was a success !
though the number wasn't very big, we all know that He was there watching over us.
we went to parade after that to party !
i felt so comfortable with them , we're like a big family.
i feel the love between us and it feels awesome. :)


you are such a bastard.
if you knew you couldn't love me then why be with me in the first place?
you only thought you could let it go but in the end you still couldn't.
right ?
we have dragged it for 3 months !
i don't know why you couldn't tell me the truth.
i gave you so many chances !
thank goodness, i am over you.
so over you.
and it seems now you're trying to chase someone else ?
i wish your future girlfriend good luck then.
because being with you is a huge mistake.


i am still waiting.
waiting for your answer :)


thanks for dropping by and God bless all of you !
Happy Easter Day everyone ! :D


<3,
miss awesome. 

again and again and again.

again and again and again.
it always happens.
just when i thought things will be fine,when things will be alright, everything just come crashes down.
i believe you came into my life for a reason and left for a reason.
now , i just have to move on, slowly.
i think what i did was right.
I've known this except i wasn't admitting it to myself, i was living in denial.
the word "sorry" does not make me feel any happier instead it makes me feel stupider.
for holding on for such a long period of time.
convincing myself that you still love me.
i have given you so many chances to tell me the truth , yet, you didn't tell me the truth.
you should have told me earlier.
i don't regret, neither am i in depression.
i guess i am handling this quite well.
better than all previous relationships.
i know God is with me through everything i do.
i know He is there.


yesterday and today was one of the most amazing moments i have in church.
after such a long time, i felt His presence again.
it was such a wonderful feeling.
i cried today and i didn't even know why.
i felt Him stood beside me saying, my dear child, I am here.
i broke down after i heard that.
i have been straying away from Him.
and yet He stood by me.
after all of the sins i have committed, He was still there for me.
and this was like an awakening call, to go back to Him.
i am truly blessed, to have so many people around me who cares.
through trials and tribulations, they were always there for me.
they're like God-sent-angels.
how wonderful.
i thank God for placing them in my life.
they mean so much to me.
i also wanna thank Pastor Victor King for that amazing message he shared with us today.
i needed it.


thank you everyone for dropping by and God bless all of you :)

<3,
miss awesome.